Contentment
by Secret Sin
Summary: He'd kill the moon if he could, for resting against her so intimately in her bed. She wanted, ridiculously, to be the sun, to be able to touch and caress him without fear of his rejection. HieixBotan.
1. First Day of My Life

**Well, here is Part I of my first Yu Yu Hakusho fic, and I don't think I can really express how much this kicked my ass. I'm serious, I've never written anything like this before in my whole life and I knocked this puppy out in a single long flight. Maybe it's the jet lag, though honestly I think it might just be the material. I was kind of high on fluffy goodness after going to the wedding of two my oldest and best friends and I think it might show in the amount of syrupy sweetness present in this thing. I thought my teeth would fall out just _writing_ this.**

**I tried very hard to keep everyone in character (though whether I did or not will probably be more obvious in Part II...) but considering that Hiei is...well _Hiei_ and insanely impossible to write in conjunction with any sort of romance, I have no doubt there are issues and would greatly appreciate any thoughts you guys have on the matter. Constructive Criticism is pretty much my crack, so please, be kind and serve as my enabler of my addiction and let me know what you guys think. If anyone flames, please be aware that I'm insanely fond of Barbeques and smores and large cozy bonfires. Your attack will only bring me a deep sense of contentment and delicious food, so please, for your own blood pressure don't put too much effort into it.  
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**Also, if you have not heard the song "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes I highly recommend going on youtube and looking up the video. Not only is a really touching song with a really sweet music video, it was also what I listened to for the entire plane ride in which this was written.  
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**I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Botan, Hiei or - most unfortunate of all - adorable little Puu. Also, I'm living off of ramen and the quarters I find in my couch, so - dear lawyers - know that your spoils will be meager.  
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**- Sin  
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* * *

**_Contentment_  
**

**_Part I of II  
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* * *

Yours was the first face that I saw  
I think I was blind before I met you  
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been  
But I know where I want to go

So I thought I'd let you know  
That these things take forever, I especially am slow  
But I realized how I need you  
And I wondered if I could come home

- "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes

* * *

There were wards surrounding the building and surrounding land, discouraging any wayward hikers, decimating any willing intruders. He felt the subtle shift of their power as he stepped forward, a spider web's touch against his skin that slid away easily as he passed through the invisible barrier. The sensation was felt with a sense of quiet pride at the intricacy of the wards, at the certainty that this space was protected. Not even the perceptive Kurama would be able to sense their power until he had stepped into the snare, trapped in a net of unimaginable pain until he was either dead or released. Hiei imagined it would be the former, as he had no sympathy for intruders – even those he considered friends. He had claimed no care for her when it had all started; but he had never said anything about claiming possession.

It was perhaps for the best that he was the only one she had invited to her secluded home. He would have killed anyone else otherwise.

All the doors and windows of the house were locked to the outside world, indifferent to the distance between her plot in the forest and the far off city. She was foolishly optimistic and unaccountably cheerful, but she was not - as he often accused - stupid. The only exception to the rule she enforced upon her home was a single large window at the back of the house, leading to her bedroom. This she kept unlatched and permanently settled in a partially open position regardless of the state of the weather. A small gift, an offering made for him alone. He had never mentioned the window, nor did he ever plan on doing so in the future. The open invitation intrinsic in such an action was as unspoken as his acceptance of it. Acknowledging it would force both of them to acknowledge the larger things as well, the ones neither of them had the strength or courage to admit to. They had made an agreement after all, when the whole mess had started; they had made a pact between themselves.

No promises. No expectations. Either one could turn their back and walk away at any time without explanation or regret.

Except...the situation had changed. Walking away was not so simple anymore, not for him.

Certainly not for her.

He slipped into the awaiting room like a shadow, never even hesitating as he left the stillness of the forest behind for the stillness of her home. Once inside he paused, briefly, turning to shut the window to the chill and snow he had just left behind. Shutting it to the rest of the world. Outside the moon shone silver and blue from its lofty place in the dark sky. Its light creeping into her room like a thief, splayed across her bed like a lover. She slept peacefully, pale skin caressed by soft fingers of moonlight, shadows winding around the curve of her cheek, delicately sweeping across parted lips and dark lashes. Her breathing was even, her eyes fluttering lightly as she dreamed her innocent dreams, unaware of the unreal intruder tracing her slim form.

He'd kill the moon if he could, for resting against her so intimately in her bed.

His cloak and shirt came away with ease, tossed carelessly onto the comfortable chair she had placed by the window he had just entered through, more content to know the scent of lemongrass – the scent of _her_ – would wind its way into the fabric by morning then he ever should be. His sword was removed next, rested carefully against the nightstand where it would wait, easily within his reach should the wards not be enough. The bandages upon his arm came loose with scarcly a touch and he dropped them in a heap upon the short table, the white cloth wrapped around his forehead landing nearby shortly after. His boots soon rested at the foot of the bed with a uniform precision, his belt tossed with less care next to them. He could feel The Dragon shuttered beneath his skin, though not in the mad shrieking rage of the captured as it usually would. The furious beast seemed almost...contented, made languid by the tranquility of the room and the calm of its host. He found himself standing by the bed, not quite willing to move, staring at the slim creature that rested so easily upon the mattress. She looked impossibly fragile, easily broken in careless hands.

He didn't bother attempting to crawl beneath the sheets as he eased himself down onto the soft surface. He didn't need them and detaching her iron grip from the fabric would be an exercise in both futility and frustration. Instead, he merely lay atop the covers, ignoring the second pillow waiting for him altogether and resting his head on the empty space beside hers. Her nose twitched, body shifting closer slightly at the unconscious awareness she had of him and with a flare of power and the glow of his Jagan he ushered her back into a deep sleep.

There were things he couldn't share with anyone, and this quiet moment was one of them.

His Jagan closed; he pressed his forehead against hers lightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest of moments as he let the quiet of the house and the peacefulness of the woman beside him wash over him. Cleansing him, however temporarily, of the blood and violence that perpetually stained his soul. The calm he felt was only possible there – with her, though that was something that could not be said - and it was something he would never admit to even under the threat of death. His left hand reached up and tangled in long blue hair, wrapping wayward curls around a finger, as his right slipped under her side to cradle her body closer to his. Her breath was warm where it mingled with his, her breathing deep and steady as she slept. Even with the push towards sleep, her body shifted subtly closer, a hand falling to his side as she moved, curling around the curve of his back. An unconscious action that spoke louder than anything she could ever say while awake. With the stillness of the house and the closeness of her body he could hear the rythmic beat of her heart, feel the soothing steadiness of her pulse beneath his hand where it rested against the column of her neck. And, so soft even his sharp hearing could just perceive it, the small flutter of a second heart beating healthily between their two bodies.

He opened his eyes, finding her serene face in the dark, and slowly angled his face away. He detangled his clawed fingers carefully from her hair, moving so that his hand came to rest gently over the large swell of her stomach. Cradling the growing life against his palm with the utmost care, his head turned so that he could stare down at where his hand was splayed, connected in the simplest way with the life within. From the cradle of its mother's womb, his child kicked an excited greeting.

His child.

The thought was…foreign, though it had been months since he had come to apply the term to the life growing in the woman beside him's womb. He had never definitively decided to not have children; it was more that he had never bothered giving the concept any thought. The idea of being a father was entirely alien to him; and the idea of _parenthood_ was so far beyond his comprehension that it had taken weeks for his mind to wrap around it all. Discovering that The Woman was carrying his child had been almost…shattering in a way. An event so unexpected he could not fully grasp the full meaning of it, couldn't comprehend how such a thing was possible in his dark little world.

He had known before she had, though he had been - he hated to admit - too much of a coward to say. The change in her aura, the subtle shift that spoke of a second life within her, was apparent long before she has known anything. And her scent, the smell of lemongrass and dust in sunlight, shifted to include something else, a soft undercurrent of his scent mingling with hers. It had jarred him, _badly_. He had kept away from her for weeks, disappearing from her bed without a word the very morning he had realized what the oddness he had sensed meant. He wondered if it was his sudden absence that alerted her to the pregnancy, or if perhaps on some level she had suspected even before he had. He had never asked her, though he knew she would tell him openly if he did. They had never bothered to lie to one another, what was the point? They had shared a bed and shared the secret of that fact, what were a few questions asked in the dark? But he hadn't asked, instead he had slotted the question away into the void where all the things they didn't discuss were inevitably sent. The fear of breaking the fragile, nameless affair they shared stronger than either wanted to admit.

She had been happy though, when she had found out. That, above everything, was what surprised him the most. She was carrying the spawn of the Forbidden Child, a creature that would undoubtedly bring ridicule and persecution to her from the realm to which she belonged…and she was _happy_. He had watched from the shadows of leaves and the curves of branches in amazement as joyful tears fell down her cheeks; a broad smile on her face as she set uncertain hands upon a then-flat stomach. Her eyes had been bright and shinning, dancing in the light of the summer sun that drifted into her little home. She'd looked…stunning, in that moment. Untouchably beautiful.

The resolution he came to in that instant was unshakable, even months later.

He removed his hand just long enough to slip it beneath the fabric of her shirt, pressing bare skin against bare skin, needing the connection the contact brought. She murmured in her sleep, forcing his eyes up to her face in apprehension that his movements had woken her, and found a small smile playing at her lips. She moved in her sleep, curling even closer to him, the hand that had fallen to his waist shifting to rest atop his, trapping it upon her round belly. Her nose was buried in his hair, her own blue locks falling over her face and spilling across his. He could feel the whisper of her breath as her lips moved, her voice coming out as little more than a sigh, so soft he might have missed it if he was anyone else.

"_Hiei."_

His hand curled beneath hers, claws gently dragging across the skin of her stomach as her voice drifted through the quiet room. The child beneath his palm seemed to come to life in response to his parents' movements, spastically kicking out at his hand in excitement of its father's proximity and its mother's sleepy shifting. He could hear the little heart beating just a little faster, could feel a little spark of joy funneled out into his body from the unborn infant. Between the two, sleeping mother and active child, he found himself unable to hold back the upward turn of his lips. A soft smile, just for the two of them.

The events that had brought him there, to her bed in her house with their unborn child, were scrambled and distorted. A love affair intended to be void of love, a complex relationship hidden within a guise of emotionally barren sex. Connection made in the darkest part of the night, out of sight of the eyes of the three worlds, secret to all but each other. They had made an agreement, both fully intending to keep what they had simple and unattached. He supposed neither of them had realized how impossible such a thing really would be until it was too late. Until he found the thought of even Kurama – his oldest and most trusted companion – so much as looking at her made a rush of something dark and possessive claw at him, the dragon screaming for death and blood. Until she whispered to him the dark secrets of her death and the life she lived before that, things not even Koenma knew entrusted to him.

His child – he wondered whether in the month to come he would be looking down upon a son or a daughter – bit at him with a sharp little surge of power, eager to catch its father's wandering attention. The smile that played at his lips warmed just that much more, his thumb moving in slow circles over The Woman's stomach as his other hand pulled her just that much closer to him, protective, possessive. A sense of contentment he thought he would never know in his wretched life warmed him, making him feel heavy with sleep and serenity. He buried his nose in the neck of the sleeping deity in his arms, a pulse of power forming in the palm of his hand just over the excited child.

Contentment, joy, warmth, belonging, the sense of lemongrass and dust, the dance of blue in the wind, smiles saved for those cherished most, the first step home, stillness so peaceful it could shatter a lesser being, _love_. Love so pure and untainted it scared him. All condensed and woven together, guided with quietly glowing Jagan into the excitable infant's little body. His control tight over his implanted eye as not to injure the life he was offering so much of himself to. A wordless, voiceless lullaby for a restless child eager to join the world. A silent promise soothing both mother and infant into a deep, protected sleep, their protector following quietly soon after.

In the morning there would be changes, but for the night he would rest in the comfort of those he loved most.


	2. Half of Something Else

**...And here's part II!**

**After glaring and poking at it for a while I've finally decided that this is decent enough to post - though I'm still a little iffy on it, I feel like Hiei seriously went off course and ended up seriously OC, but I'll let you decide that.  
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**A quick note (Because I am more than slightly neurotic and it will bother me if I don't bombard you with useless information that you will most likely ignore): Botan may seem to jump around a little with her emotions in this, this is intentional - though if she seems utterly bipolar, please tell me as that was not the intent - as she _is_ pregnant in this story and, while pregnancy effects different women different ways, it has been in my experience that all the hormones tend to make mama-bear a little touchy with her feelings. When my cousin was pregnant she would routinely break down into tears whenever someone would do something like hold the door for her or grab her a drink from the kitchen because she was so grateful. Children, they're bundles of psychotic joy even _before_ they're born.  
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**Also I want to thank heartluv, ReaperDemon, nevvy, and Just 2 Dream of You for being so kind as to review! As well as everyone who faved/alerted/read this story :) It meant a lot to hear what you guys thought and to know that you all liked it!**

**I also want to ask if anyone would be interested in me continuing this story? Despite my best efforts, plot bunnies began attacking - viscous creatures, I swear they're the descendants of The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog (cookies to anyone who gets that reference) - and now I have a bunch of scenes written out and something like a plot (le gasp!) starting to take shape. In all likelihood it would be a collection of one-shot like chapters that would all be related to this storyline. Various scenes from before and after this story. I'm not completely dedicated to the idea, but if enough people show interest I definitely will give it a try :)  
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**Reviews are loved, ConCrit is my high, and those who contribute to my habit will be worshiped like gods (so long as you are gods who like to be worshiped with imaginary cookies and geeky references, if you're not then you will be slightly disappointed gods).  
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**I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its wonderful characters. Please, dear lawyers, realize that there are ambulances out there for the chasing and I have naught but my pride and dignity. Okay no, that's a lie I don't have those things either...sorry.  
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* * *

**_Contentment_  
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**_Part II of II  
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* * *

I remember your face, like a child  
The way that you blushed  
The way that you smiled  
And now it's all that I can do

And I wake up feeling new  
There's so much more I never knew

- "Half of Something Else" By Airborne Toxic Event

* * *

She awoke to the grey light of dawn and the scent of wood smoke and forest.

His chest moved evenly beneath her, his arms secure but gentle as they wrapped around her and held her close to his overly warm body. She could hear his heart beating beneath her ear, strong and steady, a rhythm so comforting that it nearly lulled her back into the warm depths of sleep. She fought the drowsiness though; aware that their time was limited and wanting to see him before he slipped away from her again. She had long ago realized that the fleeting moments they shared were the most she would ever have of him. Seeing him leave - seeing him steal away in the early morning light for the life he preferred, the life that did not include her – was like having her heart savagely torn from her body each and every day, but she would rather have those moments, fleeting as they were, than not have him at all.

She was careful as she moved her head from his comforting warmth to the cold down pillow, not wanting to jar her rowdy child into wakefulness just yet. As she settled her eyes on him, she was surprised to find him still deep in the lull of sleep, his face calm and serene without the sharpness of his waking mind. It was rare that she woke before him, unheard of that she should do so without him recovering from an injury. The number of times he had come to her beaten and bloody and in need of her healing powers had lessened over the past months – a fact she attributed to their child's health rather than any real attempt to lessen her worry for him – but the memories of all the nights she had woken to the smell of blood and ash were unlikely to fade from her mind soon. If they ever did.

Her eyes drifted from his face to his body, mapping out the many scars he had collected over the years. The smooth straight lines of pale scar tissue, the dark patches of long ago burns, the dips and swirls and jagged markers of a hard life. She traced them carefully, fingertips dancing over his skin as if the past he never spoke of might be learned by touch alone. His right arm was curled around her, the black stain of the dragon almost alive beneath his skin where she delicately followed its winding body around his arm with her hands. She had never said but, sometimes, she almost thought she could feel its shifting movements. Sense, almost like a whisper at the back of her mind, the emotions of the great beast that he had captured. She loved the Dragon by itself nearly as much as she loved its master, though both were a secret she knew she would be forced to take to her second death.

She nearly jumped as a familiar hand, calloused and clawed, wrapped around hers, bringing her eyes up to an equally familiar face.

His eyes were bright in the morning sun; lighter and more open than he usually let her see, usually let anyone see. His head was tilted down to look at her, his expression one she had caught spilling across his face more and more often as time had stretched on. She felt that, over the years, she had become talented at reading him. Not as well as Kurama or Mukuro - she doubted she would ever be allowed to know him as well as they did - but skilled enough in her own right. It had helped her through a number of trails throughout their little arrangement, but not enough to let her decipher the meaning of the look he was giving her in that early moment of the day.

"Good morning." Her voice was scarcely a whisper, caught in the silence of the morning and the dance of drowsy sunlight caressing his face. It was mesmerizing, the stillness that fell over him, the intensity of his gaze made all the more terrifying and breathtaking in the glow of the morning light. The sun had wound across the sharp angles of his cheekbones, curving around his lips like a lover teasing a kiss from him. The soft light made his eye spark with life, the deep red flourishing into an impossible flame that threatened to set her ablaze with its force.

She wanted, ridiculously, to be the sun in that moment, to be able to touch and caress him so openly without fear of his rejection.

"Morning." His voice was smooth, spider silk and midnight twined together, making her shiver lightly as it rumbled through her body. He retracted his hold on her wrist, shifting his body out from beneath hers as he did. Her heart lurched a little in her chest at the thought that he was already preparing to leave her. An unwanted trail of goose-bumps flared to life over the plane of skin he had left exposed, cold winter air attacking the only reminder of the warmth that had just surrounded her. She fought the frown that threatened to tug at her lips as the chill set in; this was how their odd affair worked. No promises, no expectations. Either could walk away without explanation or regret.

She nearly jerked away out of shock when the warmth suddenly returned.

A battle worn hand slid along the curve of her cheek, clawed fingers winding through her hair as long blue locks were brushed away from her face. His thumb swept along her cheekbone as his other hand moved to curl around her more securely. She scarcely dared to breathe as he moved his head, pressing their foreheads together, his eyes level with hers. Neither of them spoke. She too afraid to break whatever spell had fallen over them, and he…She could never claim to know what ran through his secretive mind, but she thought that the emotion in his eyes might have been…what? Consideration? Curiosity? She couldn't tell.

She watched as his eyes slide closed, thumb stilling on her cheek, and felt as the silence that rested between them seemed to…shift. A quiet change she couldn't place. In her womb their child stirred, not the lively fighting that was its usual morning routine, but a quiet sort of restlessness she was not used to feeling from her unborn child. She wondered if the little thing could sense the same change in the air that she had. "There is something that needs to be discussed." She felt apprehension bite at the back of her mind, digging in with sharp claws into her spine and refusing to let her go. Their child kicked hard against her ribs, uncomfortable with the emotion running through her and she tried to push it away, for both their sakes.

"This agreement of ours…" His voice was one of her favorite things in all three worlds; she loved it, loved hearing it in her ear and feeling it murmured in the dark against her skin. Deep and rumbling, like thunder in a storm, a force of nature to be awed and respected. She tried to focus on that and not the sensation of being swallowed by something dark and dangerous that was creeping up her spine. Not the nip of discomfort her already powerful child gave. Not what she thought was coming. What she knew, _knew_, what was coming. Terrible and awful but she could _feel_ it, could sense the impending blow. She listened to his voice, and hoped the even tones would drown out the anxiety. "It…can't be allowed to continue. You understand?"

She bit her lip, _hard_. Understand. Did she understand? She understood that her heart was shattered, the small scraps that counted as hope that she clung to so tightly torn away from her fingertips, leaving her to fall and break alone. She understood that the lies she had told herself were crashing down around her, bitter and broken where they lay. These things she understood perfectly well.

Her entire body tensed in his hold, eyes closing tightly to fight off the sting of tears that threatened. Their child – was it _her_ child now, now that it would be just her? – came to life in a flurry of movements, wild and painful as it pounded against the boundaries of her womb. She felt him jolt lightly, head pulling away from hers as hands tightened their hold on her. She didn't open her eyes, didn't look at him, _couldn't_ look at him. She had enough strength in her to hold her tears until he left – not to return, not ever to return – but not if she looked at him, not if she met his eyes and had to _watch_ him leave. "Woman?" His voice was…strained, laced with an emotion she had never heard from him before. Apprehensive, uneasy almost. So different from his usual self-assurance. The hand tangled in her hair shifted slightly, his thumb moving to stroke at her temple in quick even movements as if to coax her eyes open again. She felt his nose bump against hers, his face suddenly close enough for her to feel his breath fan over her skin.

"Quiet, _quiet_. I'm not finished." She felt the flow of his mind drifting over hers, felt the calm he was pushing into her body with his Jagan. His words came out like any of his usual sharp commands, but his tone was different, softer. Her body relaxed in his hold, despite the fight her mind put up to the tranquility – he took her heart and felt nothing about using as a play thing, he did not get her mind too, he did not get to take _everything_ – and she felt her child kick all the harder in response to its mother's distress. She felt a brush of his lips dancing across hers when he spoke next. "Open your eyes."

She didn't, too stubborn and hurt to give him the satisfaction, and he didn't force her. His mind retreated slightly from hers, still there but resigned to simply drifting over her thoughts. The hand that had come to rest at her waste moved. His palm brushing over her stomach, persuading her frantic child to still with slow, careful pets to her large belly. She felt a low chuckle vibrate through her body suddenly and was surprised at the feel of his lips pressed firmly against hers. Her eyes flew open, flooded with the warm scarlet of his gaze boring into her. The kiss was different from all the others they had shared. Fierce, yes, but tender as well, soothing. It left her breathless in an entirely new way when he finally pulled back. Her mind felt muddled, confused. "…What? What are-"

He kissed her again and she forgot she had even wanted to ask a question.

When he pulled away, he was smiling – though small it was honest and open, a genuine smile the kind she had only felt pressed against her skin the dark of night, never seen – his eyes sparking with warmth and amusement. "You really are a stupid woman." She would have bristled if he hadn't said it with such affection. She was left staring at him in wonder, her mind a mess of confused thoughts and sensations. She didn't understand what was happening. "I'm going to speak, and you are going to listen." His mouth moved against hers as he spoke, reaching to capture her bottom lip between his fangs every other word. She was used to hearing orders from him, loud barking commands and gruff retorts. She was used to hearing a number of _other_ loud and gruff noises from him as well but those only in private and – usually – only when she was feeling particularly wicked. He had been a terrible influence on her over the years.

Neither tone was used as he spoke to her then, though. "This agreement of ours can't continue." She tried, valiantly she felt, not to tense at those words, at the implication behind them. He rewarded her efforts with an affectionate nuzzle to the sensitive skin at her neck, teeth nipping lightly between the quick fluttering presses of his lips to her pulse point. "No promises, no explanations." He shook his head against the crook of her neck, his hand moving from her face to her side as he did so, thumb drawing circles beneath the curve of her more-ample-than-they-used-to-be-thank-you-baby breasts. "It can't be allowed to carry on as such, _do you understand?_"

Her hands moved to his arms, tightening around them as she gently pulled away from him, searching. She needed to see his eyes, see if…If she really _did_ understand what he was saying. He allowed her the movement, but only permitted for smallest amount of distance between him as he could. "Hiei…" Her nails dug into the skin of his arms, her frame tense under the directness of his gaze. "I…do you…" Her child – _their_ child – gave a hardy kick to her ribs, as if to chastise her for asking a stupid question before she even did. She had the sinking suspicion in that moment that she was carrying a boy, one that would be infuriatingly like his father in the years to come.

His expression turned serious as he met her questioning gaze. He grabbed one of her hands, forcing her to relinquish her hold on his arm, and moved it so that it rested atop her swollen stomach, trapping it between their child's excited movements and his own warm hand. "I came to a conclusion," His thumb dragged over the knuckles of her hand, warm and tender. "When I saw your reaction to the child…I…I'm not a coward; I don't hide from things just because they are more powerful than I am." He looked somewhat uncomfortable, but he would not let his gaze drop from hers, his determinations pushing him forward. "But then there was you, you and the agreement we made." He paused, seeming to search her eyes for something, maybe the things he wanted to say but couldn't. He was a creature of action, not words. She couldn't imagine how difficult it was for him to even say this much to her.

"I used our arrangement to…to _hide_. From _you_, from what you had begun to represent to _me._" His hand stilled over hers, eyes almost shifting away but never quite managing. He was Hiei and he never backed down from a challenge, even one in the form of his heavily pregnant not-quite-lover. He suddenly chuckled again, a low rolling noise that made her think again of a storm and its roars. "You know, it wasn't until I realized I was contemplating killing Kurama just for standing too close to you that I even realized how very apart of my life you had become." He seemed genuinely amused at the thought of killing his closest friend, and she wondered not for the first time what she had gotten herself into willingly giving up her heart to such a man. Then she wondered what it said about _her_ that hearing the threat to their mutual friend gave her such a thrill. "And then it was only until the child that I knew that I -"

He stopped. The word catching in his throat and staying there; fear he would never admit to choking his voice.

Her eyes were wide in surprise at what he had said, what he had not quite managed to say but she felt she understood anyway. The idea that he would ever feel anything more than companionship towards her – there were times when she even doubted he would call her a friend, despite their more than nightly rendezvous and the child that such activities resulted in – was something she had tried very hard not to allow herself to even hope for, let alone speak of. But there he was, curled around her, staring at her with an expression of uncertainty that made him look years younger, circling a topic that neither of them had never expected they would be discussing.

She turned her hand beneath his, pressing their palms together and winding their fingers together into a comfortable pattern. She felt ridiculously bold doing it, eight months pregnant with his child, holding his hand for the first time. A smile, warm and hopeful, touched at her lips. The hope that she had long been secluding away in the deepest parts of her mind, as far from his all-seeing eye as she felt she could get, burst through its confines in a flood. She felt everything she had not dared to let show, everything she only ever felt near _him_, overwhelm her, made wild and boundless by loss of control over her emotions her child afforded her. The sharp sting of tears was welcomed as she pressed her lips against his, the salty drops proof of her happiness as she tightened her hold on his hand. She knew his mind was still drifting over hers, his Jagan settled comfortably over her thoughts, and she experimentally pushed at the link. Attempting to let him feel everything she was feeling in that moment.

Contentment, joy, warmth, belonging, the sense of wood smoke and forest, the beauty of living shadows in motion, secrets only given to the one trusted most, the first moments found in waking, serenity so welcoming it could swallow a person whole, _love._ Love so pure and untainted it scared her. She wove it together and pressed it through the link he had opened with her, flooding him with everything that she could not possibly put into words. Her emotions wild as she opened herself up and gave every ounce of herself up to him, her mind unable to control them as they reached out and rushed into him. A wordless returning of a wordless offering.

His hold on her hand tightened almost painfully, his other arm pulling her so close she didn't think she would be able to find the seams between their bodies even if she cared enough to try. His held her gaze as he deepened the kiss, his red eyes seeming to radiate a light of their own, enough to rival the sun in the sky. When he pulled away she was left gasping for breath, emotions swirling through her in a haze so quickly she could not tell from moment to moment hers from his. It didn't matter, some faraway part of her quietly realized, they were all the same anyway.

Hiei was a soul made for expressing the intensity of his emotions through his actions. He could bring himself to tell his sister who he was, so he protected her and guarded her from all the darkness of the three worlds. He could not express to Kurama and the others how much he trusted them so he willingly put his life on the line to fight alongside them. He could not _say_ what it was he felt for her, could not effectively pour the emotion into the word, so he pressed his mouth against the junction of her neck and her shoulder and gave her a mark as unbreakable and eternal as what he felt for her.


	3. Wish You Well

**First up I want to apologize for the length between my updates. I actually have been banging out chapters for this left, right and center but - I'm sorry to say - none of the chapters I wanted to post. This "story" is turning into more of a collection of one-shots all based around the same concept and story-line, but with a loose concept of chronological order or logic. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of logic, it really cramps my style. Anyway, while I've been writing like crazy, I've been writing things for chapters that will happen later on in the story as well as other Yu Yu Hakusho fics that have been rolling around in my head. My goal for this is to have it so that any given chapter could, conceivably, be the last chapter so that the inevitable unholy length between updates isn't quite so bothersome. I'm hoping my next update will be much sooner :)  
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**In any case...this didn't go anywhere _near_ where I wanted it to, it just sort of...took off on its own and I'm honestly not sure what to make of it. I _think_ I like it? Though honestly I'm not sure, I had a pretty solid idea in my head for what I wanted for this whole Botan-Mukuro interaction thing but as I started to write it just sort of _refused_ to obey me. **

**Special thanks go out to sKyLaR KnIgHt, Josette Mynx, heartluv, City Limits, Chimaira009, ReaperDemon, Dueling Fire Demon, and Just 2 Dream of You for reviewing! It means so much to know what you guys think! I get so inspired when I get feedback from you guys and my writing productivity skyrockets I swear!  
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**I also want to thank everyone who favorited, alerted and read this as well!  
**

**As always reviews are welcomed and loved, reviewers worshiped as gods (so long as gods are pretty cool with being worshiped with imaginary cookies and eternal gratitude) and Concrit means the world to me. Please let me know if anything seems wonky with this - especially with my attempt at Mukuro, Mukuro, as it turns out, is even more tricky to write then _Hiei_.  
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**Unfortunately, I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its brilliant characters.  
**

**- Sin  
**

* * *

**Translations: **

Yashinaioya - Godparents

Diafu - God Father

Diabo - God Mother

**Note:** As far as I was able to find, there really isn't an easily translatable notion of Godparents in the Japanese culture as Shinto does not seem to have an equivalent, the little customs I mention are completely fictional (Yeah, fanfic whoo!) though there will be mentions of _actual_ Shinto ceremonies and customs in later chapters. If anyone is interested in Shinto and Buddhism I highly recommend at the very least looking it up as they are both incredibly beautiful religions and really give a good insight to the beauty and elegance of the Japanese culture. Though there are a number of absolutely fascinating books on both subjects to be found that I encourage you to look for!

* * *

_**Contentment**_

_**Part III of II**_

* * *

I, I want to smell your scent  
I want to breathe the air I did before  
Before Your left

I, I want to wish you well  
The only reason my heart beats  
Is cause you showed it how

- "Wish You Well" by Katie Herzig

* * *

It was an old house, worn and tired about the edges, but contented in its duties. The angles were simple, the lines unobtrusive. There was a garden, beneath the white blanket of winter, a small plot of land that would bloom and thrive brilliantly and bring color to the old structure. Large trees stretched a hammock of protective branches over the roof, decorated by ice and the wan light of winter. It was nothing large or ostentatious, she knew enough not to have expected otherwise, it was simple, comfortable. A place that did more than just serve as a roof overhead and walls surrounding, a place to live, a _home._ It was beautiful.

She wanted to burn it to the ground.

Snow lay thick over the ground, a blanket of the purest white she had ever seen washing the world in silence and death. Winter had fallen harsh and bitter in the human realm, the cold malicious as it bit at her exposed skin and the wind snatched at her clothes, howling and cruel. Though perhaps that was only her impression of the world around her, sensing in the weather the chaotic swirl of emotions that were shrieking and rioting within her own heart. She pushed that thought away though, there was no point of languishing in her misery, and she had things to do before the night fell and her second in command returned to find her hovering about his Mate's protected nest.

She stood on the very edge of the wards that encompassed the house, her instincts chafing at her proximity to such powerful seals, a faraway part of her mind urging her to step away from the crackling barrier, to leave the place and not return. Mukuro smiled hollowly at her own response to Hiei's craftsmanship, impressed by her heir's attention to detail in crafting such a shield. It was a magnificent expression of his power and control, and an even more overwhelming expression of just how much the woman that the shield was crafted to protect meant to him. He might have argued otherwise, if she had been able to bring herself to mention his lover in the past years, but she knew very well that the blue haired woman had always been more than a simple lay. Botan, and she knew very well what her name was, had always fascinated him in ways Mukuro had never been able to understand, in ways she doubted even Hiei could explain. She had hoped the enthrallment would end, that his interest would fade. She had hoped he would while away his nights with the Ferrier of the Dead until he bored of her and moved on, they were all allowed their amusements from time to time.

She almost wished she had been surprised when he _hadn't_ grown tired of his lover.

The door of the house cracked open, a warm yellow glow of a fire silhouetting a creature made all the more beautiful by the curves she had gained over the past months. Blue hair was loose were it danced in suddenly playful wind, lavender eyes wide in surprise as they settled on the unexpected visitor at the edge of her land. The woman was defended from the cold only by a soft looking green sweater and the powerful child growing inside her, not even so much as a scarf wound about her neck as she began her trek towards the woman waiting for her. Mukuro might have laughed at the awkward waddle the blue haired woman had to assume in order to move about if she were the type to do so. As it was, she _wasn't_ the type and the lateness of the Woman's pregnancy in conjunction to her naturally slim frame made for a prominent swell of her stomach and an almost painful sight to watch. The Woman's face was worn with concern and a touch of exhaustion as she came to a stop at the edge of the invisible barrier, Mukuro couldn't tell if the emotion was born of worry for the haggard state of her guest or the potential danger to herself. Perhaps both, she was hardly a judge of emotions.

"Mukuro?" A slim hand came to rest over a bulging stomach as another pressed firmly against an aching back, for a moment the demon felt both jealousy and apprehension for the other woman. To be a mother of a demonic child was difficult enough when one was a demon, the challenges a Reikai Spirit had to face could very well kill the Woman if proper precautions weren't taken. To be the mother of Hiei's child though…It made something dark and betrayed squirm in her chest, singing for blood and death. She ignored it though, watching as the woman before her rubbed small nervous circles over her growing child. "Is everything alright? How…I mean…" Mukuro watched as the woman's face - open and pretty, completely foreign to deceit or disgust - tilted into something between embarrassment and uncertainty, eyes never dropping from her visitor's cool gaze. The demon could not tell if she was glad at the fact or not, she would never be able to tolerate Hiei claiming a timid Mate, but then again she was barely tolerating Hiei having a mate at all.

"I came to give my…congratulations…" The words were bitter on her tongue, vile and rancid to her mind even as she spoke them. They needed to be said though. The lavender eyes that rested on her were knowing though, the pretty face they peered out from carefully neutral. If the woman was anyone else, it might have been cold, but it was the Ferry Girl and she never could be anything but warmth and welcoming. At length the blue haired woman gave a slow nod, lifting her hand from where her child rested and offering it to the other woman easily.

"Would you like to come in? I just pulled some cookies out of the oven, and I can make some tea…" The slim hand reached out past the protective barrier, an offering made that meant so much more than admittance to her home and a seat by the fire. If they had been in Makai, had the woman standing before Mukuro been a demon, or even had been anyone else then who she was, it would have been different. Mukuro was, at best, an intruder upon the woman's home and territory. At worst, she was a rival and potential threat to both the Woman and her child. Anyone else in all the three realms would have turned her away, would have coldly turned their back or shouted and threated for her to leave. She wasn't meant to be there, she should – by all accounts – have respected the decision of her second in command and given his mate and child space.

This was…_their_ home.

Mukuro carefully took the other woman's hand, surprised at how warm the blue haired woman was, allowing herself to be led past the barrier and towards the cozy house. To be pulled through the crackling curtain of the wards, down the iced path, to the warm fire crackling within and the soft smell of lemongrass and wood smoke. Wondering all the while what was waiting for her.

[] [] [] [] []

The steam of the tea drifted up and curled around her in a wash of peppermint and chamomile, dancing around the lip of the worn mug and skimming over the scarred skin of her hands. A plate of baked goods, fresh and warm and sweet smelling, rested temptingly before her on the small wooden table. The house was as warm and welcoming as she had known it would have to be, as any home that belonged to such a woman as the one who tottered around the kitchen before her was meant to be. The entire scene that she looked upon was so…domestic, so serenely impossible for one such as herself to ever hope to be capable of. The two of them were so very different, two far flung ends of the spectrum brought together by a single commonality.

The Woman settled her own chipped and tired looking cup down upon the aged wood of the table and slowly – carefully – eased herself into the chair across from her guest. A small tired sigh escaped the blue haired woman, a hand coming to rest on her large stomach, patting almost admonishingly over the swell of her womb as she leaned back into the comfortable chair. Beneath its mother's absent hand the Child burst into a flurry of power, a swirl of energy so powerful that it nearly knocked the air from the demon's lungs. She had felt the infant's power even as she walked through the winter choked forest, a steady pull and push of a kind of energy she had never felt before. It amazed her, frightened her even to a certain degree.

She forced her gaze away from the Woman's large stomach, hands tighter on the warm mug before her then they had been, lavender eyes set upon her from the smooth planes of an unreadable expression. The blue haired woman said nothing for a long moment, a startling change to her normal countenance, her voice even and low when she finally did speak. "I'm glad you came." Thin fingers danced over the cracked and chipped cup, fingernails cut short and practical, hands lightly calloused in a way that told of a healer's life. Her words were surprising to her guest, though Mukuro's face never betrayed the riot of emotions that swirled in her head. "I wasn't sure if I'd be able to reach you before the baby was born. I haven't been to Reikai in months you know, Enma…"

Her voice wavered and died at the name of her master, the king whom she belonged to. Mukuro understood the things the woman before her could not say nevertheless. There were no laws in Reikai that prevented a Spirit of the Realm from maintaining a relationship with a citizen of Ningenkai or Makai, but laws were mere technicalities. Reikai spirits kept to themselves out pure self-preservation, not even daring to risk a human companion most times for fear of Enma's wrath. The brutish king's views on demons were clear, and any interaction made with Makai was done from arms reach and with a thinly veiled sense of disgust. For a ferry girl, a favorite creature of the self-righteous ruler, to retain a sexual relationship with a high standing demon of Makai was disastrous enough, though could be ignored for prosperity's sake. For _Botan_, a prominent figure of Reikai in her own right, to carry a demon's child – then add insult to the injury by _Mating_ with said demon…

It was a slippery, dangerous situation for all involved. Especially the Child, _Hiei's_ child. Avoiding her Realm and - for at least the moment - Enma's wrath, was a prudent choice on the woman's behalf.

"And why would you want to contact me?" Mukuro reached out and took one of the still-warm cookies on the plate before her, more out of need to move then any real want of the treat, and set the difficulties her second in command would undoubtedly have to face in the future to the side for the moment. Should anything come of it, should Enma decide to take action against the Woman and her child, Mukuro was uncertain of what her stance would be. She was tempted to allow it to happen, never mind the effect it would have on Hiei, she would be there to help him destroy Enma and anyone else who dared to stand in the way and be there for later when he recovered from the lost. She tried not to think about the fact that she knew that if his mate and child were lost, he _wouldn't_ recover.

The Woman took a sip of tea, thinking her words over carefully as her guest broke the baked good in half and dunked the smaller half in the sweetened warmth of her tea. "I've been thinking about the Yashinaioya tradition." Mukuro blinked, actually blinked, in surprise. She hadn't expected _that_ to be where their conversation would turn. The idea that the Woman would even know of the old Makai tradition was surprising enough, but that she would bring it up with _her_… "Hiei is going to ask Kurama to be the child's Daifu when it comes a little closer to the birth, but I…" The blue haired woman paused, looking her guest over carefully, before seeming to steel herself for what she was going to say next. "I wanted to ask you to be Daibo."

The cup of tea very nearly fell from Mukuro's hand.

The Woman, Botan…Mukuro could not even comprehend the request that the woman sitting across from her had just made. For Hiei to ask Kurama was…understandable, expected even. The two went back years and had been close companions. They had confided with one another, and the old fox was unquestionably Hiei's closest friend. Perhaps the only associate he had that he would even _label_ as a friend. Hut for the Woman to ask _her_. It was astounding, astounding and completely ridiculous to a certain degree. They were, practically, enemies. The tiger and the doe seated together at a kitchen table over cups of tea and warm desert. Two women in love with the same man, one of which was the victor of the unspoken war.

The tradition of Yashinaioya was an old one, though it was rarely seen outside of established Clans in Makai. The ceremony was similar to one that was seen throughout various cultures of Ningenkai, in which parents of a newborn would ask close friends to step forward and make an oath to look after and protect the child, to serve as guardian if anything were to happen to the parents themselves. In Makai the Yashinaioya were chosen with the utmost of care, the father always choosing the Daifu and the mother always choosing the Daibo. It was a great honor to be asked. A sign of utmost trust, and one that had to be considered by both parties – both parents and those they had asked to fulfill such roles - for unlike the human concept of the custom the Daifu and Daibo would actually bind themselves to the child. Swear upon their blood and soul to look after and care for the child as if it was their own, bond to the child in a way through ceremony no human could ever possibly _hope_ to understand.

And Botan had asked _her_.

"I…" Her voice was gone; it had abandoned her completely, leaving her – for the first time in as long as she could remember – completely speechless. Her tight control over her emotions faltered, leaving her face open for the surprise to shine through to the blue haired woman sitting patiently across from her. Her mind was a mess of confusion, not sure what to make of the sudden change in the conversation. She had come there that day to see the woman Hiei had chosen face to face, to see her and decide if the Ferrier of the Dead was truly worthy of her second in command's care and…and love. She had not thought that the Woman would want anything from _her_, would in fact have plans for the child she carried that included the demon sitting in her home.

The Woman shifted in her seat, sensing the uncertainty in her guest and wanting to explain her odd request. She held her hand up as Mukuro made to speak again, smiling lightly as she did so. "Wait, please. I know…I know this is…_strange_, but I have my reasons." Hiei's mate took a small breath, seeming to think her own words over before she spoke, her hands moving to settle over the swell of her stomach. "I know that…that you love Hiei and, and that I…that it hurt when he…" She paused, biting her lip slightly, frustrated by her own inability to express her thoughts. "But…but you still are important to him. More than I think you are aware. I know asking this of you is…unusual to say the least, but…but I want you to be a part of my child's life. I want them to have you there, to have you teach them the things you know and be there for them as they grow up." Lavender eyes drew upward, catching Mukuro's with a hopeful gaze. "It…would mean so much to me, if you were there. I just…I want to know that, no matter what, my child will be loved. That they'll have a mother."

Her words filled the air and swirled around the warm space, living things like birds dancing through the air, swooping through her mind in a whirl. Silence fell shortly after, not uncomfortable, but thoughtful. She thought the Woman's words over, dissected them as best as her unprepared mind could, looking at them from every angle. There was no secondary motive, the Woman was not asking as a means of saving herself or forcing Mukuro into a position in which she would be bound to protect the blue haired woman. It was an honest request, born of an honest need that her unborn child should never want for love or protection. Hiei's mate was asking her because the Woman felt that _she_ was the best possible person to fill the roll. She was asking because the Ferry Girl knew that she would never permit harm to come to her second in command's child, because she felt for Hiei too deeply to ever let him feel such pain.

She looked at the woman sitting across from her curiously, head tilting to the side as she studied the pregnant woman. "I thought about killing you, you know." The Woman, she was pleased to see, did not flinch at the statement. She turned her gaze to the large swell of the Woman's stomach, to the Child. "I can't understand why Hiei chose you, but he did. He chose you and I respect that, as much as I wish I didn't." She set her cup of now tepid tea upon the table and stood, moving so that she was kneeling before the sitting woman. "I can't say that I don't still want you dead, but I can say that I won't kill you. And…and I'd rather…like…to be the child's Diabo." She reached out, almost afraid of what she was doing, and rested her hand over the Woman's stomach.

The Child, the impossibly powerful Child, seemed to reach out with its tiny aura in that moment. Seemingly determined to have its say in the matter, reaching out for _her_, for its soon to be Diabo. The power was…unimaginable, an indescribable swirl of emotions and energy tugging happily at her mind, welcoming and warm. An impossible balance struck between the harsh, incredible power of its father and the rare gentleness of its mother. The Child was entirely unique; nothing like it had ever existed before, no union like the one that had created it had ever happened before. The Child would usher with it, when it was born, a whole new era with it. Perhaps an era of peace, perhaps an era of war, no one could say with certainty. But the Child, the Child of Hiei would be loved. She would make certain of that.

Two hands, gentle and warm and worn in the way of a healer's, settle upon her own battle worn hand. For a moment, a single moment, there was a peaceful silence. A truce to a war that had never even a chance to begin. She had said her peace, and her counterpart – Hiei's Mate – had proven herself in a way she had not even imagined a Reikai spirit, or truly _anyone_, capable of. She could not say that she would ever be able to look at the woman, the mother of Hiei's child, and not feel contempt, not feel a surge of bloodlust and fury, but she could say that she did not _hate_ the Woman. Could not hate a woman that had, in an odd impossible way, given her a gift she would never be able to repay.

"Thank you."


	4. Twenty Years

**Wow, did I actually update twice within a week's time? How did that happen?**

**Now I'm going to give you guys a heads up on this chapter...First: this actually takes place before Chapter One so if things seem a little wonky its because the timeline of this fic is a little topsy-turvy. Second: I wrote Yukina, who normally is one of the easiest voices for me to grab - at least it seems that way to me - but in this case got all sorts of complicated. I really played on the relationship between Yukina and Hiei as far as them being siblings, and furthermore twins, and how Hiei seems to really let his guard down when he is with her, especially when they are alone. I wanted to have a real sibling-bonding theme in this, but I also wanted to explore Yukina's character a little deeper past her _always_ being the cheerful/sweet/even-tempered one of the group. She _is_ Hiei's sister, even if they were separated at birth, she has to have a little fire in her _somewhere. _So I'm giving fair warning that both of them will probably seem very OC in this and it is to a certain degree intentional, though if they are completely unrecognizable or otherwise intolerable please let me know as I will do my best to make corrections.  
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**In other news, there is only one more chapter after this one before Baby Jaganshi makes their big debut! I've tried to keep from mentioning a gender before the little bundle of screaming joy officially makes it into the story, but I'm curious to know what the general thoughts are on the matter. I've already decided, so I'm afraid this isn't a vote to decide or anything like that, just some interest on my behalf on what you guys are thinking :)  
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**I want to give my undying gratitude to Mother Midnight, Uitori, ReaperDemon, Dueling Fire Demon, and (extra special thanks to) Just 2 Dream of You (for being so sweet as to PM your review when FF failed you! Much love my dear, much love!) for all being so kind as to review and let me know what they all thought!  
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**Thanks also to everyone who alerted, favorited and (of course!) read this! It means the world to me!  
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**Reviews are loved, reviewers are worshiper, and ConCrit is my very life-blood. If anyone sees anything off or odd or just plain wrong please let me know and I will do everything in my power to put your observations to use!  
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**I own nothing. Literally. I ran out of ramen and my pride and dignity fled from my long ago, currently I'm in the search for loose change in living room furniture.  
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**- Sin  
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**Note:  
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**There is in fact a ceremony in Japan in which a family, when expecting a child, goes to a Shinto Shrine to pray for a safe delivery during the woman's fifth month of pregnancy. It's called AnnZan and it is completed when a Shinto priest presents the mother with a white sash that has a dog stitched into it that she uses to wrap under her belly as support.  
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**I love doing research :D  
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**_Contentment_  
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**_Part IV of II  
_**

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There's no reasons, no excuses  
There's no secondhand alibis  
Just some black ink on some blue lines  
And a shadow you won't recognize

In the meantime I'll be waiting  
For twenty years, twenty more  
I'll be praying for redemption  
And your note underneath my door

- "20 Years" by The Civil Wars

* * *

Dusk had just begun to settle onto the isolated shrine, drawing out the shadows to play in the red glow of the dying sun. The world was washed in color, hues of such beauty and intensity that they threatened to blind if watched too carefully or for too long.

Yukina stood at the crest of a hill nearby Genkai's sprawling home, hands clasped before her as she watched the burning orb of the sun slowly dip and fall from the sky, being swallowed up by the hungry earth only to be released again in the morning. She adored sunsets, much more even then she did sunrises. She had always felt, privately, that there was something undoubtably beautiful to an ending. Something in the sadness of finality, of saying goodbye, that made the world all the more beautiful. The way that the world became still and quiet for just a moment, a single, solemn moment, to mourn the pass - however temporarily - of the sun and its life giving light.

A soft breeze danced up the hill she stood on, carrying with it the scent of the smoke and fire Genkai used to warm her Shrine. Winter had settled quickly upon the human realm that year, falling so thickly upon the earth that she was reminded - almost painfully - of her childhood on her Floating Island home. The ice and the chill, the soft dance of snow as it drifted down from a grey sky, took her back to nights sitting by kind-hearted Rei being told stories of her mother. Life had been simple then, she had only known her frozen home and her frozen people, ignorant of the wonders to be held in the three worlds, of the people to be met and befriended.

Ignorant of her brother.

No, not quite ignorant. She had always known, in a small way. She remembered, in deep dreams and absent moments, the sense of power that eminated from his infant body as they grew together in their mother's womb. She remembered in the dull, blurred half-memories an intense heat, an eternal flame that did not so much burn as it did completely consume. He had been so strong, so powerful even then. She knew as she had grown alone under the care of her guardian Rei, was certain down to the very core of her being that her brother had survived the awful fall from the island. Had lived through the betrayal and came out stronger for it.

It was the thought of such strength that had given _her_ strength. The strength to leave her people, to leave everything she knew behind. What got her through the pain and torment of Terukene and his horrors. If her brother could survive so much, and she _knew_ he had survived, then she had to do the same. She had to steel herself and become strong, for the brother she had never truly been able to know, for the brother she had been determined to one day meet.

The sun slipped down, a mere sliver of red against the horizon, the colors deepening to dark purples and blues. Night was only moments from claiming the world for its own, leaving the land it settle upon to sleep and rest until the sun was born again. Stars began to gleam down at her, perfect gems sparkling just for her, twisted and woven amongst themselves to tell the stories of the world below as they saw them happen. She remembered learning their tales in Makai, and again in Ningenkai as she looked up upon an unfamiliar sky. Sometimes she imagined her own shapes for them, connecting their twinking bodies together to tell a story that she had lived or imagined her brother to have lived. There had been times when she had looked up at them and wondered if her brother was staring at the same constellations, viewing the same sky that she was.

She took a deep breath of the pure chilled air, turning from the faint smudge that had once been the sun and began making the slow journey back to the Shrine. Her thoughts were not on the stars that night, however. Her mind instead heavy with secrets that very well could unravel the worlds as she knew them, that threatened daily to upset the delicate balance that the three realms stubbornly refused to alter no matter how important that they did. There were dangers everywhere, if the truth came out at the wrong time or in the wrong way...Too many already knew of course, though many were ignorant of the power they held or the significance of all the pieces they had seen. It was for the best that way, she felt. There was too much at stake for malicious eyes to rest upon the matter.

Too many lives in the balance.

Botan's for one. The child she carried, for another. Two innocent lives, causing no harm in their existence but would undoubtedly be considered as threats if the delicate situation was not handled with the right amount of care. Spirits of Reikai, let alone Human Spirits, were not meant to bare demonic children. Even if the child was born out of love - perhaps, her heart ached to think, _especially_ a child born out of love. There were always tensions between the realms, more so between Makai and Reikai due to their long, antagonistic relationship, and a child born with the blood of all three realms in its veins could very well usher with it a war unlike any seen before.

Reikai could lash out, believing Botan to be a victim of an unspeakable crime, the child she carried a monster and a disgrace. It wouldn't matter what the blue haired woman said, Enma and his son would look upon the situation and see a woman, heavily pregnant with a demonic child, the father not quite in the picture. They would assume the worse, and even if they didn't they would assume that Botan was only protecting a man that had taken advantage of her. She was a kind soul, forgiving.

And Hiei...well Hiei had a long and troubling history with Reikai. It would be easy for Enma to claim a ruthless killer and a criminal the cause of a terrible and forbidden crime. It would be an undeserved accusation, Yukina knew very well what Hiei had done in his past but she also knew the man that he had become because of it. He was honorable and noble, in his own way, he would never hurt an innocent, and he would most especially never hurt the blue haired woman. Yukina knew, as very few knew, how much the two truly meant to one another.

The moon was beginning its slow accent; a heavy and huge sphere in the sky muddled a deep orange red from its place so low in the sky. It was not yet bright enough to light the path she was walking, but her sight was enough to not truly need it anyway. The tall trees that stood around her, sentinels to the forest path, swayed in the slight winter breeze. Their stark white branches brittle in the cold, ice and snow decorating their limbs with a heavy beauty. She paused beneath one, eyes drifting over the wards and seals that decorated its trunk, not permitting herself to look fully on the true object of her attention.

He was up wind from her sharp nose and his power was hidden beneath a blanket of shadows that he cast upon himself as always, but she knew he was there. If she looked, truly looked, she would be able to just make out his eyes in the shifting, dancing shadows of the forest, but she knew better then to force his hand. He came to things in his own, quiet way, never content to merely jump into a situation full force without knowing all the angles. She waited for him patiently, her mind drifting over the information she had gathered over the past so many complicated months as she did so. There was time, and she was willing to wait for him.

He was her brother; after all. She had waited her entire life for him, what were a few more minutes beneath the blanket of the winter sky?

She wasn't certain if he had come to tell her the truth of his identity or not, there had been so many opportunities in the past years that he had never taken. She knew in any case, so perhaps it didn't truly matter if he finally told her or not. Her brother was cut from a very different cloth then others she knew, he came to things in his own time and his own way for his own reasons. A person could not hope to understand his motives, but they had no other choice then to accept them as he offered no choice in the matter. And she did accept his reasons for not telling her his true identity, respected them even as she was ignorant of them, though she would admit to being still hurt for the deception.

The discovery had been made some months ago, during Botan's short visit to the Shrine. The blue haired woman had, for the most part, shut herself away from the three worlds in a place that none but her knew of. Yukina and Genkai, in fact, were the only two of their group to see her after the announcement of her pregnancy nearly six months prior. Her distance was not meant as an insult or a sign of rejection to their collected family, but a precaution the expecting mother had taken to protect her child from Enma's wrath. She was frank and honest about her child's demonic heritage, though tight lipped on who precisely the father was. It was plain enough to Yukina though, and - she suspected - Kurama as well. Hiei's scent was so intricately woven into Botan's own that for a moment Yukina had been convinced that they had become Mates, though the lack of Mark upon Botan said otherwise. It wasn't until some months after the announcment that Yukina had realized a startling fact, though. A stunning, life changing fact.

It was a human custom for an expecting mother to visit a shrine - a fully functioning one, unlike Genkai's - with her family in order to ensure a safe and easy birth through prayer and ceremony. When she had been asked by the blue haired woman to accompany her she had been warmed by the request, glad to go with her good friend and support her, and readily agreed to the venture. Botan was very much like a sister to her, and being asked to be apart of such a tradition had touched her deeply. It had been during their trip to the Shrine that something had clicked into place for her, something she had not been able to put to words or make sense of until the moment the kind faced priest handed over the lovely white sash to the expecting mother.

It had been so sudden, a flash of realization as sharp as to sting in its clarity. She had almost gasped aloud in comprehension, nearly broke into tears as the pieces suddenly fell into place.

He dropped to the ground before her easily, a shadow shifting in its natural environment, landing easily at the base of the tree before her as soundlessly as a secret in the night. The shadows cast by the moon, finally lofty in the sky, danced across his face and made him look wraithlike. She stood silent as she waited for him to speak, a soft smile on her face as she watched him work through his thoughts. His face was not one meant to be read by a casual observer, it was hardly one that his oldest and most trusted companions were capable of reading usually, but she thought that she might have a leg up on others. His was apprehensive, she would even dare to say nervous. Slight anxiety was inevitable whenever he was near her; she had an idea of why but…it always hurt none the less, but it was distinctly _more_ that night. As if he knew that things would change, for better or worse.

"Yukina." She smiled a little wider at him, quietly urging him on. He folded his arms behind his back, eyes moving to settle on the Shrine below. "You…I was in the area, I thought I might check to see how you were doing." He smelled strongly of Makai forests, a sign of his recent arrival to the area, he had come to see her specifically she knew. To check on her, perhaps even offer her the secrets that he thought he was keeping from her – though she knew that such a thought was merely her hope, and not born of any indication from him. She wondered what could be so important as to bring him to her before he even saw his lover and their unborn child. Botan was, she was glad to know, his priority and there was nothing as important to him as his child. She could see it in his face when blue haired woman was near – had seen it for years – and she could always smell him close by when Botan had come to visit in the past months, even had sensed him nearby at the Shine those three months prior.

"Thank you." She folded her hands before her, her smile growing a little wider as she spoke. "I've been well. I'm an official Midwife now; I even work at the hospital a few times a week now." She had begun the training a few years prior, wanting to be able to do more in her new life than simply totter around Genkai's temple for the rest of her long days. It had been Kazuma's idea that she look into local classes, though her knowledge from her homeland led her to pursue a path as a Midwife. Due to the nature of their reproduction, Ice Maidens were all trained extensively in the intricacy of pregnancy and labor, to prepare them for the inevitable task of childbirth and aiding their fellows in childbirth. She focused her eyes on his face as she spoke next; curious at how what she had to say would affect him. "Botan has asked me to help deliver the baby."

He stood very still for a moment, his frame tensing in a way that did not speak of danger or aggression. She was always safe with him, a fact she had always known since the day he had appeared before her, defending her from her vile human captor. At length he seemed to force his body to relax, forcing the tension of the thoughts running through his mind to ease. He caught her gaze with an unreadable look in his familiar red eyes. "You know…" She nodded, not smiling as she confirmed her knowing of his parentage of Botan's child, waiting for him. He shifted on his feet, moving his hands from behind him into the depths of his cloak as he looked away from her. "She…told you?"

She wasn't sure what to make of that, he still wasn't looking at her, and his voice had taken an odd tone she didn't recognize – or like. "She didn't need to. In the past three years the only male she has smelled of is you." Her hands fidgeted with one another, her uncertainty growing with each moment he remained silent. "She loves you, you know. Only you." She didn't think it should have needed saying, but seeing him, seeing how far away from her his gaze had traveled, she wondered. "Hiei?" He turned away from her slightly, shoulders lifting around his ears slightly. When he spoke his words were gruff, almost a reprimand.

"She shouldn't."

The words nearly were lost to the sudden gust of frigid wind, the chill of winter seeming so much worse in that moment. She felt a surge of fire flare through her veins, a bitter anger seeping into her blood at his words. She loved her brother, she did, and she knew he loved Botan – who also loved him deeply – but she also knew that he was a protective creature. Botan was, effectively, in danger because of him, because of his child growing in her womb. He felt responsible for the fact that Enma would eventually take action, and his guilt – however unspoken – would cause far more damage. He would, she suspected, distance himself from his lover and child, still a protective shadow, but unseen. Botan didn't need an unseen protector, their child didn't either. They needed _him_.

He seemed to register the change in her emotions, turned to look at her in surprise. She had never been _angry_ before, not really, irritated, annoyed, but never before truly _angry_. Even when she had been a prisoner, even when she had been tortured, she had never the time to let fury seep into her, not through the fear and pain. But there, in that moment, the emotion came to life, the fiery blood of their father – that had so far been dormant in her – roared to life. In the back of her mind she heard Shizuru's voice, a light tone commenting upon how Kazuma had needed a touch of "tough love" in order to learn a lesson. Perhaps it was a sister's duty, perhaps it was _her_ turn to issue some tough love. "_Shouldn't?_" She snapped, actually _snapped_ at him. Her eyes narrowed as she stared him down, taking in the surprise on his face. "This isn't a matter of what she should or _shouldn't_. She loves you, she loves you and she is carrying your child and they both _need_ you." Her hands clenched at her sides, her shoulder's hunching as her body tensed. Adrenaline coursed through her body, making the world come to life in a way it had never done before. She wasn't certain she enjoyed the sensation, but for the sake of ensuring her brother did not do something he would regret, she would use it to her advantage for as long as she could. "Botan is a good woman, Hiei, she is so much more most can ever hope to be. She deserves more than nightly visits and secret meetings. And so does your child."

Her anger was fading, quickly, consumed by the worry and concern that had been gnawing at her since the moment Botan had announced her pregnancy. Since the moment at the Shrine when the Child she carried flared with power, a power that did not burn so much as it did consume, a power she had only felt once before in her life. In that single moment she realized that it was much more than just her friend's child who was at risk, it was her family. Her brother's child. She looked at him, anger draining completely as she saw his stunned, slightly hurt, face.

Her words and frustration had surprised him enough that his guard had almost completely dropped, and though seeing him so vulnerable made her heart twist painfully, she felt some level of satisfaction to know that he had at least _heard her_.

Silence fell over them, a stillness that made her want to squirm in guilt for her loss of control over her emotions. She waited for him to turn his back, to leave her standing there in the snow and the moonlight. He would not abandon her, he would always be there watching and protecting, but she doubted she would ever see him again. She didn't regret her words, couldn't regret them, he needed to hear the truth of the matter, needed to know that if he continued as she knew he was planning to he would lose everything. It didn't matter if he took offence at her intruding in his personal matters, so long as he took her words under consideration. She closed her eyes, tired from the surge of unfamiliar emotions, and waited for him to drift away as she had seen him do so often after an argument with one of his friends.

"What…what if I am not enough?" His voice was a surprise, a low whisper in the night. She opened her eyes and peered at them, curious and quiet. "Like you said…she is a good woman, the very best and I…" He didn't look at her, his face a mask she could not read as he looked down at the snow at their feet, not shuffling, not anxiously. His gaze was thoughtful, honestly considering as he spoke. "I have done many terrible things in my life Yukina, unforgivable things. She deserves better. Both of them do." His shoulder's hunched, tightening up near his ears. "And the child…" He seemed uncomfortable, sharing his inner thoughts and secrets with her almost against his will. She remained quiet, not wanting to disturb him. These were things, she could tell, that he needed to say. "I've never had a father…I wouldn't even know where to begin taking on the role myself."

As his voice fell and died, caught by the wind and carried away, leaving her staring in saddened wonder. He had never told her he was her brother, she had discovered it by pure chance the day her brother's child had given a flare of power in response to a priest's kind words, and she had never quite understood why he had held his tongue. Not until then, in that quiet conversation shared in the early moments of the night. She would never know with certainty, not unless he told her, but the idea that he felt his past actions made him unworthy of care was one that settled into her mind with the stubborn refusal to leave. His uncertainty of being accepted mingled within him with his uncertainty of how he himself – abandoned and forsaken as he had been – would be able to express love to his own child, to Botan. Whether or not, even, if he _could_ care for them as they needed to be cared for.

"Do you love them?" His eyes darted up to hers, reservation in his expression as he studied her face. She hid nothing from his searching gaze, allowing him to read the calm certainty that she felt. Under her unwavering stare, he _did_ actually shift, moving his weight from one foot to another as he buried his hands a little deeper into his pockets. He remained quiet for a long moment, as if not understanding her question. At length though he gave a slow, certain nod, as if not trusting his voice to give his answer. She smiled at him; eyes warm as she took a step towards him, lifting her arms as she moved to hug him. He stiffened beneath her hold, unused to touch and the emotions attached to contact, but at length he moved one hand to settle on her back – hesitant and awkward – and at length his taught frame relaxed slightly. It was as close to returning an embrace as she might ever get from her brother, and she cherished it more than she could ever possibly say. She pressed her face into his shoulder, desperate not to cry as emotions best kept at bay for the time being threatened to escape, and allowed her smile to grow. "Then you are everything they deserve and more." She stepped back to meet his gaze, not letting go her hold on him just yet. "You will be a great father and…and a great Mate." She held his gaze as she spoke, her hands tightening almost unperceptively, as she spoke.

He blinked at her blankly before a small, half-formed and amused smile touched his lips. He lifted a hand and set it over one of her own, squeazing it affectionately as he closed his eyes. "You…" A small chuckle, low and rumbling, lifted from his chest and danced through the chilled air. "Your brother would be very proud of you I think." Warmth filled her chest and threatened to burst her heart at his words, her eyes stung slightly as tears threatened once again. She fought them back, but just barely. His smile seemed to grow just a little warmer when he opened his eyes and saw her. He released her hand, stepping back from her slightly as his eyes shifted in a familiar direction. The direction, she knew, where Botan was. Her brother met her gaze a final time before turning to leave, an expression of contentment on his face. "Thank you. For…for everything."

The muscles of her cheeks ached painfully from the broadness of her smile, the warmth of joyful tears fighting valiantly to break free and fall down in perfect gems as she nodded and watched him leave. High above the moon shone brightly, illuminating his frame in shadows and silver, transforming him before her eyes from mere mortal to something more, something impossible. She followed his figure until she could no longer distinguish his form from the shadows he knew so well, her eyes drawn instinctively upward to the darkened sky. The stars were bright and twinkling, ignoring the brightness of the reigning moon to let her see them in their full beauty. Against the smooth blue of the sky they shone and glimmered spectacularly, and amongst their ranks she imagined she saw a small family form, familiar faces taking shape happy and together.

She saw love.


	5. Questions

**Alrighty folks, chapter five, only one more until Baby Jaganshi makes the scene ;)**

**This one...sort of took on a life of its own. It was, when I planned it, supposed to be just sort of a quiet chapter between Botan and Baby but then...well things went awry. I'm not certain if I'm as happy with this as I could be, and I may - later on - go back when its not so fresh in my mind and pick at it a little, but for now I'm not going to let myself agonize about it (Aren't you impressed with me? I'm pretty impressed with me for that haha). As always if anything seems screwy or if characters stop acting like they should it would mean the absolute world to me if you guys gave me a heads up!  
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**As always, my greatest of thanks to Dueling Fire Demon, Reaper Demon, Mother Midnight, soul painter and of course Just 2 Dream of You for all being so incredibly kind as to review! I love you all my dears, I really, truly do!  
**

**I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or its wonderful characters, please, dear lawyers, know I have nothing to offer you.  
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**- Sin  
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**Translations:  
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Koibito - Sweetheart

**Notes:** It is a tradition in Japan that after a baby is born, both baby and mama go to live with the mother's family for two to four weeks so that Mama Bear can recover. Since Botan doesn't really have a family as such, I figured Genkai's would be a legitimate substitution for her to make.**  
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_**Contentment**_

_**Part V of II  
**_

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Questions, I've got some questions  
I want to know you  
But what if I could ask you only one thing  
Only this one time, what would you tell me?

Well maybe you could give me a suggestion  
So I could know you, what would you tell me?  
Maybe you could tell me what to ask you  
Because then I'd know you, what would you tell me

- "Questions" by Jack Johnson

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She bit her lip lightly, a headache threatening behind her eyes as she glanced over the piles of books and scrolls and notebooks that were scattered around her like a forest. Ink and paper twisting and forming into towering trees, shading her with confusion and frustration. Hundreds of thousands of words swirling around her, a paper city of symbols and ideas that had yet to help her in her search but had done much to confuse the matter.

Sighing in frustration, she leaned back against her couch from her place on the floor, pillows propped up around her like a cocoon of down and fabric keeping her and her very prominent stomach upright. Her hand absently reached out for the now damp container of ice-cream at her side, hand sticky where she wrapped it around the chilled metal of the spoon and scrapped up the soupy mixture at the bottom of the cardboard carton. Eating a gallon of ice cream by herself had not been a miraculous happening of her pregnancy, not that she would ever admit to her emotional eating in the midst of the lonely nights of the past, but the sheer _amount_ of the frozen stuff she was consuming had become alarming in the past eight months. She supposed she should be thankful, having been carrying a demonic child she had half-expected to be overwrought with odd cravings for foodstuffs that would most likely leave the hardest of stomachs rolling. As it was vanilla "sweet-snow" was the only demand her over-active child had made, the unborn infant seemingly indifferent to the fact that its mother favored strawberry or that its father had a preference to chocolate.

As the carton emptied and her hands became annoyingly sticky, she gave another small sigh and looked at the ocean of paper around her imploringly, almost begging for it to give up its secrets. It didn't, stubborn damn ocean, and only left her with a pounding head and tired eyes for her efforts. Her shoulders slumped in defeat, her back aching from her prolonged inactivity on the floor, and her child grumpily fussed for her to move before it broke out into its own over-stylized rendition of Paris' finest Can-Can dancer routines against her ribs. "Oh hush you." She gave a small disapproving glare to her large stomach, hand rubbing at the place a miniature foot had just been outlined against her skin moments before. Satisfied her demonic infant would be still at least long enough for her to get to her kitchen she began the arduous task of getting to her feet. "You know if you weren't so fond of ice-cream this would be a lot easier." A tiny fist drove into what she was fairly certain _used_ to be her left kidney and she sniffed in irritation.

Son or daughter, it was _definitely_ Hiei Jaganshi's child she was carrying.

Tossing the ice-cream container in the trash, she rinsed the gumminess from her hands and spoon; her gaze tugged unbidden back to her living room and the mess that overflowed there. Her shoulders slumped at the sight, the headache that had only just threatened blooming into a roaring pounding at her temples. It had been months now, her days and nights – when they had not been agonizing over the many difficulties that lay ahead for her and her child – filled with a near desperate search for the one thing she was absolutely determined to get right.

The name of her child. The title her little girl or boy would carry with them throughout their life, the one thing that they would always have of their mother and father even if all else faded away. It was, while perhaps not the single most important thing involving her unborn infant, the one that weighed the heaviest on her mind, and the one that grew heavier with each passing day she failed to find a suitable name. At least her child would proudly be able to claim the name Jaganshi in the years to come – a fact that had been in serious doubt until the month before.

Her hand, still damp from the water and smelling heavily of lavender soap, drifted up to rest on the slope of her neck reverently. The skin that rested beneath her fingertips was slightly tender to the touch, the ragged edges of the healing wound raised and more than a little raw where it lay in a rough oval. She could count the place of each tooth, could trace the larger patterns of where fangs had pressed into her skin and muscle. A flood of emotions coursed through her body from the contact, the effect of touching the Mark flooding her system with warmth and joy. Her child giddily shifted in her womb, sending out small sparks of energy out in response to the phantom image of its father's presence. A moment passed and she felt a slight brush at her mind, a swirl of recognition shooting through her from the claim at her neck, her Mate touching the Mark that rested in the juncture of his neck and shoulder in short response.

They were…Mates.

The thought made her dizzy and giddy all at once, limitless joy mingling with nearly unbearable disbelief. They had known one another for years, most of that time consisting of distance and doubt in each other, neither sure what to make of the other. Then a trick of fate, a fluke, brought their lives unexpectedly tumbling together, irreparably binding their lives together whether they had wanted them to or not. A moment of weakness shared in a field far from the sight of the three worlds, a mistake that could very well cost them their lives if discovered. They should have ended it there, after that one frantic experience, they should have…They didn't though. And years later fate twisted for them again, this time…this time for the better, she felt. She was having his child, and they – for better or worse – were bound to one another until the end of their very long lives.

It was as comforting as it was terrifying.

She sighed; dropping her hand to her stomach as her active infant happily began kicking away at anything that came too near. She had been promised – by books and websites and even darling Yukina – that as the child grew and she neared her due date the hits to her internal organs would ease up slightly. Baby couldn't very well wind up a good punch if there wasn't any room left to do so seemed to be the standing theory, though such assurances seemed to not faze her excitable child in the least. Since becoming Mates with Hiei nearly a month prior their child seemed to have become even _more_ volatile to her internal organs, their miniature boxer cheerfully letting her know in the most uncomfortable way possible that it approved whole-heartedly of its parents' union. Rubbing what she hoped were _soothing_ circles upon her very round stomach she prayed to whatever deity would listen that the pounding inside her womb would ease up a bit.

"Calm down little one, your papa will be home soon…" She stood up from her leaning position upon the counter, pressing a supporting hand against the small of her back with a small wince of pain as she did so. At length her child eased up on the attack, appeased – however temporarily – by her promise. She smiled, despite the aching discomfort the lateness of her pregnancy inflicted upon her, and patted her calming child affectionately before slowly waddling her way out of the kitchen. "Alright Koibito, I think I've procrastinated enough…" She case another tired glance towards the living room and the pages within, "We have to finish packing everything up, your Aunty Yukina is expecting us today." To her everlasting relief, her manic child only gave a little squirm and an almost-negligible kick to her spleen at the news, allowing her to continue her awkward shuffle down the hall to where the bedrooms lay.

It had been decided after Yukina agreed to be her midwife that she would spend the last few weeks of her pregnancy at Genkai's shrine, so that when the day finally arrived for her child to arrive the sweet ice maiden would be there and at the ready. She would also be spending her resting time there, an offer extended by the old master herself whom – Botan was certain – was excited at the idea of having a child on the estate. It had never been said, and she had kept her curiosity in check when it came to the subject, but she had always quietly wondered if Genkai regretted never having children of her own. Perhaps such regret was why the old master had seemed so fond of Yusuke, despite their seemingly antagonistic relationship. In any case she was meant to be at the shrine by nightfall, accompanied by her always-watchful Mate, and she had yet to pack even a day's worth of clothing let alone the various supplies she would need for both herself and the child. As her thoughts began to wander over the various items she needed to gather up and pack, her body wandered its way completely past her own bedroom and to the cheerily painted door at the end of the hall.

It was plain and unadorned and nearly completely empty. A sad room, really, untouched but often visited over the past months. It had been, not even a year previous, a small study she had rarely used but had found accomplishment in creating. She had cleared it out of everything a week after she had discovered her pregnancy, shoved the furniture into storage and painted over the walls with white primer. It had become a perfectly blank slate, a canvas in waiting for a portrait of her own creating. The perfect foundation for the nursery of her growing child, a room that she could prepare and perfect during her pregnancy…if she had only managed to create it in the first place.

She stepped inside the little room, silent, observing the vacant room. Her fingertips skimmed the pristine walls as she walked the perimeter of the unfinished room, eyes drifting over the space lazily. It should have been a lovely space, bright and cheery and comfortable. There should have been a lovely crib set up against the one wall, a changing table, a comfortable chair by the window where she could sit with her child. There should have been soft color upon the wall, pictures, photos of the family she had collected for herself and her infant-to-be. Except that, there wasn't any of that. Every time she had begun she had found herself hesitating, uncertain of so many things. Not her child, never her child, but of the life her little one would be born into. Of the uncertainty of the future that waited. And now she was terrifyingly close to her due date with still no nursery – or name – in sight.

Her mission to pack abandoned she lowered herself to the floor carefully, easing herself against the blank white wall as she wiggled her toes against the cool bare floor. The thought that she would need to get rugs, for the baby once he or she began to crawl around, drifted through her mind absently. All her thoughts seemed to drift in the recent months, a fact she was not certain she could attribute to the famed "baby-brain" so many women in her condition suffered. So much of her mind had been consumed by the worry of Enma's wrath, of Makai's reaction, of so many things that could cause her child harm, she hadn't the time to think about the things other mothers thought of when expecting a child. She rested her hands upon her large stomach, fingers spread over the expanse of her skin, eyes growing distant, contemplative. She traced a pattern upon her skin, various names she had read and contemplated giving the infant that was growing inside her.

"What I'm I going to do with you, hmm?" Her voice was small, but it was caught easily by the emptiness of the room, stretched and pulled until it filled the entire space with her uncertainty. Her child shifted beneath her hands, its aura reaching out and mingling with hers inquisitively, a power that still surprised her after so many months swirled out and encompassed the room. "You know…I never expected this, you I mean. I always thought…" She paused, wiping away the invisible list of names she had crafted upon her skin with the palm of her hand, unhappy with all of them. "I always thought I would never get the chance, never find someone I loved so much as your father, never thought that…that I'd ever be blessed with a child." A smile pulled at her lips, muddled by the shine of tears in her eyes. Thoughts of her Mate, of the life that they were slowly carving out for themselves, damn anyone who tried to get in their way, filled her mind and mixed her months' long apprehension.

"And…And now…now you're almost here and I'm so scared that I'm not going to be enough for you. I don't even have a name for you yet…" She closed her eyes tightly, fighting the burn of tears that bit at her tired eyes. She bowed her head and cradled her growing child, shoulders shaking as she repressed her sobs. She had done her best, over the months, to repress the panic and fear that had been creeping up on her, but even the strongest of wills could be chipped away by exhaustion and hormones. Her child flared with energy, anxious at its mother sudden shift in emotions. She wrapped her arms around the large swell of her middle, trying valiantly to control herself. It was of no use of course, her emotions had never been something she could put a leash on, and pregnancy had only made them all the more overwhelming. "How I'm I supposed to do this?"

"I thought that this was already settled…you will do this with me."

His voice was a soft timber as it echoed throughout the room, unexpected but welcomed to her frazzled mind. Her child's energy jumped and swirled in response to its father's presence and between the two, her Mate's voice and her child's activity, she found her gaze pulled up to the doorway. He stood still, hands folded into the pockets of his cloak as he stared out down at her. His expression was calm and unreadable, a mask that even after so many years she had trouble decoding. She blinked, slow tears escaping her desperate hold and slipping down her cheek. Her throat was tight as she opened her mouth, and when she finally managed to speak, it came out small and hoarse. "Hiei…I…"

He shook his head, stopping her, and stepped inside the empty room and over to her. She moved to wipe her tears away with the sleeve of her shirt but was stopped by his hand; he had moved to kneel before her so quickly that she hadn't even registered the motion. He held her wrist gently in his hand, brushing his thumb over the pulse as he peered at her face carefully. "After the child is born," He moved his other hand and swept away the warm tears that had fallen, his hand moving down the curve of her cheek and along the column of her neck until it rested securely upon the still-tender Mark upon her neck. A flood of warmth swirled through her, making her head feel hazy and light. "We shall be spending some weeks with my sister and the old woman. Kurama and the others will be more than adequate in helping complete this room while you rest there." He shifted, moving so that he sat her side, shoulder pressed against shoulder. The hand that had pressed against the mark he had placed upon her neck fell away, though the one at her wrist remained, slipping downward to press their palms together. "As for a name…" She wound their fingers together, leaning her head so that it rested upon his shoulder, his touching her mark had caused a wave of calm to consume her. His free hand moved to settle upon the curve of her large stomach. "It will come. When the child is born…when we finally see them, we will know…"

She lifted her head, turning to look at him through tired eyes, glad to see intense red greeting her. A smile tugged at her lips, warmth flooded her at his words and the comfort they brought. He leaned forward, pressing their foreheads gently, and for a moment she felt him smile as he pressed his lips against hers. The worry was still there, at the back of her mind, still biting and clawing at her, but – for at least a time – it had been chased away, overshadowed by the security of her Mate. By the uncharacteristic faith he seemed to have in her, in their future. She clutched at his hand tightly as his kissed her, glad for the strength of his grasp, and allowed for him to chase her fears and worries away.


	6. Lullaby

**And Baby!Jaganshi has finally made their big debut! :D**

**This took so long to get right DX Admittedly, this is actually the fifth edition of this chapter so... And yes, I did just say the FIFTH. There are four other versions I wrote for this chapter, each and every one completely different from the other from start to finish. None of the other four would work with me, however, so here is my final attempt at it. I might eventually add the others into the mix of this story, as they are all very different, but I'll wait until later until I get into that. For now I'm just going to be happy with this and go with it haha.  
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**I think Hiei went really off course and OOC, but in my head it all seems like legitimate reactions to the situation. Plus, in my experience, it is always the "tough" guys that get all over mushy when their kid is born. If he seems like a completely warped representation of his actual character, I deeply apologize and will attempt to remedy the problem.  
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**I want to give all my love and thanks to Dueling Fire Demon, Mother Midnight, FireStorm1991, Just 2 Dream of You and ReaperDemon (and 23 year old man-babies are like bow-ties and fezzes, or in other slightly less geeky terms: Cool :D ). You guys inspire me so much! I always end up turning into a big goopy puddle of fluff 3  
**

**I, sadly, do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or its lovely characters. I just make them do my bidding when I have the time :)  
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**- Sin**

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**Notes:** Interestingly enough, all babies the world over are born with blue eyes. If their eye color does eventually change, it will do so within anywhere between a few hours to a few days after birth. :)

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So lay down your weary head  
Try and sleep now  
Calm your shallow little breath  
Be at peace now

Another day calls out for you to make your own  
This one goes where all the other days have flown

- "Lullaby" by Arco

* * *

Tiny breaths filled the air with the soft sent of infant and milk, a tiny face with the large dimpled cheeks of the newly born rested in languid content against the swell of his Mate's breasts. They were both asleep, his Mate and their tiny, fragile child, both lulled into the well deserved doze of the truly content and the honestly exhausted.

His Mate had rest her head tiredly upon his shoulder nearly an hour before, blue hair loose and damp with sweet as it spilled over her shoulders and across him, their tiny child gently folded in her arms between the two of them. He had climbed into the bed and curled her protectively against his side the moment Yukina had gone to announce their child's arrival to the others anxiously awaiting news elsewhere in the shrine. Then the room had been filled with the high, keening wails of a new life overwhelmed by the incomprehensible largeness of the world it had been delivered into. The sound, so irritating when he has heard it from other infants over his many years, had filled him with a surge of pride and wonder. It was not just some annoying babe polluting the quiet with its shrieks, some other's child drilling a headache into his mind and tearing at the peace. It was _his_ child, announcing to the world with a strong, healthy set of lungs that the world would never again be the same.

His eyes, once they had set upon the tiny creature, had been unable to leave, his entire being seemingly ensured by a six pound, five ounce bundle of impossibility. It was…difficult for him to comprehend. That something so…so fragile and so small could - in the span of a few hours and a few blinks of pure, unfocused eyes – hold such power over him. Nothing, not in the entirety if his long, arduous life, had ever had such a profound effect upon him, never had caused a flood of emotions to overwhelm him so powerfully. Perhaps, he would admit, his gentle, kind-eyed Mate…but that was different. She had been something that had crept upon him slowly, had slipped in under his skin when he had not been paying attention and begun to consume him with the slow, sweetness of a blooming flower. This, though…the crash of love and devotion he felt was so sudden and so…so _strong_. Like a wave, a Tsunami, baring down upon him and sweeping him away, threatening to bring him to his knees with scarcely more than a glance and a gentle touch.

A Daughter.

He had a daughter.

Beautiful and perfect and so impossibly _everything_ to him. She had come into the world howling and screaming, a surge of energy cast off from her impossibly tiny form so powerful it had actually knocked his sister off kilter for a moment and pressed him back. A surge of heat, demonic flames not seen but felt and understood. His daughter, in every respect _his_ daughter, gently wiped clean and folded into his arms for the first time, wrapping him up in her own, miniature aura. The moment her small weight had been settled into his arms and he had looked down upon her the air had been pressed from his lungs, his heart stilling unresponsive in his chest. For a moment, a single, quiet moment, her big, beautiful eyes – still the undecided blue of a new born – had settled upon him and her wails had stilled. He had trembled beneath the weight of her stare, the perfection of her tiny face as it looked up at him with such…such honest acceptance. Such blatant trust.

He was glad that Yukina had been preoccupied across the room as he had slowly stepped over to his exhausted Mate, eyes never able to leave the infant in his arms. He would not have wanted his sister to learn the truth of his lie by seeing the single, red gem that slipped down from his eye and fall into the pool of fabric that swaddled his daughter. His mother had wept twin Hiruiseki for her twin children, and for his daughter he was glad he could give the same. A piece of his soul, of his love for her, made physical by the blood of his mother's forsaken people. He had never treasured the long held secret of his own tears, not until that single moment, his eyes burning with a feeling of joy, his arms secured protectively around his squirming daughter.

A shift of fabric and the soft whine of the wordless brought his focus back upon the tiny form of his daughter. Her eyes had opened while he thought upon the wonder of his first meeting her, and even in the few hours after her birth, her eyes were already begging to change. Already he could see color shooting through the ocean of blue, twisting it into the shade it would be for the rest of her – he would ensure – very long years. He smiled, honestly smiled, down upon her as she made another small whine and struggled lightly in her mother's hold, preparing – judging from the violent shade of red she was becoming – for a good, solid cry that would, he had no doubt, be enough to wake any dead unfortunate enough to be in radius of her screeches. Hoping to avoid awaking his Mate so soon after the difficulties of the delivery – later, after things had settled, he would learn just how close he came to losing them both, and it would haunt him for centuries to come – he cautiously slid his daughter into his own arms and attempted to ignore the fact that he honestly had no idea what to do to calm an upset child.

His Mate, sensing the lost weight even in her deep sleep, curled all the tighter around him, wincing lightly from the bone deep ache the birth had left her with and burying her nose in his neck. Her lips pressed over the mark she had given him, pulling the sense of warmth and utter contentment to the surface of his mind with the contact. Closing his eyes briefly he gently rested his head upon hers before turning back to his ever more disturbed child. Still nameless, his daughter squirmed all the more in his hold, her tiny face twisting into a truly furious expression, unsatisfied with his loss for what to do to calm her. At a loss, he fell back on a habit begun before she had even been born, shushing away her worries and upset with a swirl of emotions and the soft glow of his Jagan. Her almost wails stilled, her wrinkled face smoothing before his eyes as she settled into the lull of his wordless lullaby, and she looked up at him.

He wondered if his heart would always stop when he met her large, innocent eyes. He almost hoped it wouldn't.

He moved his free hand from around his sleeping Mate's waist to settle over his daughter's bundled form. A long, clawed finger gently sweeping over the swell of one cheek, entranced as she reached for it with her own tiny digits. She was so small. So tiny and frail curled in his arms. A little creature defenseless to the world's cruelties, completely dependent on others to protect her from its darkness and its dangers. Dependent on him, dependent on her…father. Her hand wasn't even large enough to complete circle his finger, but she clung to him anyway with all her infantile might. Determined, it seemed, not to give him the opportunity to set her down or leave her. A fear, he wanted to assure her, was unjustified. He had no intention of letting her go any time soon, if he ever did so. Unable to assure his infant daughter of his suspected fear, he was only able to stroke his thumb over the back of her tiny hand, her little body tucked all the closer in the crook of his arm. As close to his body as he could press her, her head resting over his heart gently.

She looked like him, he realized distantly. Downy black wisps of hair perched upon her head, delicately clawed fingers, even her eyes – though the color had not fully appeared, he suspected that the hue he could see would be the same deep scarlet of his own gaze. She was too young for him to tell, of course, if in the years to come if she would have his sharp features or her mother's soft face, or whether she would hold his shorter frame…She seemed though, to have the exuberant nature of her mother already – though he would admit that the shortness of her infant temper that he had seen was all him.

Her little clawed hand didn't loosen around his finger as she slowly slipped back into a deep, warm sleep. Her tiny mouth moved in a mime of how she had spent her meal before sleep, her little nose twitching lightly as sleep took her off into the faraway wonder of dreams. He could not resist the smile that slipped onto his face even if had any intention of doing so. She was the most beautiful child he had ever rested eyes on, his child, his Daughter. It was his duty to protect her and love her, to never let harm fall upon her tiny frame. And he would do that, he would do all of that and more, he would willingly fall upon his own blade and permit the Dragon bound beneath his skin to devour him alive in its hellish black flames if it would mean a single smile from her, if it meant that she would find some happiness from his actions.

His Mate murmured sleepily, hands moving to wrap around both him and their child, catching his warm gaze as he shifted his attention to her. His eyes flicked from her to their daughter again, a deep sense of warmth and..._belonging_...seeping deep into his chest and claiming his heart as home. Brushing a thumb gently over the cheek of his daughters round face once more he simply stared at her for a moment longer, committing the scene of his child at rest to memory. A moment to keep forever, to carry with him always through the years to come.

He tugged a long forgone blanket up around the three of them to ward off any cold that might dare slip into the Shrine and attack his newly forged family. His own eyes growing heavy he leaned down, careful not to disturb his comfortable mate, and gently pressed his lips on the soft skin of his daughter's forehead. Whispering a loving goodnight into her infant ears before moving his head to rest atop his mate's, sleep pulling him down to join his mate and child in dreams.

It was how Yukina found them some minutes later when she returned to check on them. All three curled together, so deeply asleep not even her half formed question had been able to rouse any of them. Smiling warmly at the sight she quietly stepped over to the bed, adjusting the blankets carefully around them with the utmost care. It was then a small sound caught her attention, something small and precious slipping out of the folds of her much beloved niece's blankets and bouncing onto the floor. The ice maiden smiled as she knelt down to retrieve it, warmed by the sight of the small crimson jewel that rested tellingly in the palm of her hand. She had collected the few first gems her niece had created before her brother had seen them, not wanting to spoil the moment of father meeting child with the complicated situation that was their relationship, intending to gift the gems to the family at a later time. Seeing the glimmering red gem though…she was willing to risk complications to ensure seeing a tradition followed through.

When she left to return to the others and assure them of the new family's health, the three slept on as peacefully as they had before she had entered. The only sign of her presence at all found about the tiny neck of the contented child pressed against her father's broad chest. A small necklace, as simple as the two that rested upon the neck of the child's father, marking the child eternally as loved, eternally protected.

The door closed behind the petite ice maiden on a small, quiet moment, on a family finally made whole.


	7. All My Days

**Life doesn't believe in letting me write, apparently. I really wanted to have this chapter finished up and posted...well, weeks ago...we see how well that went don't we? Anyway, it looks like the sudden burst of crazy that's infiltrated my very carefully crafted shield of self-delusion, not even the potent cover-your-ears-close-your-eyes-and-chant-_LA-LA-LA _technique could keep life from bullying its way in, and I won't be very active for a while :( I'm hoping that things will settle down in the next few days (did I mention I'm good a self-delusion?) and I'll be back to being able to write a little more constantly. Though my next update will probably be for _Behind Ourself Concealed_, as I've been in a mood that works for writing for that bad boy...**

**In any case, here it is! Baby!Jaganshi finally - FINALLY - has a name! It only took what? Seven chapters?  
**

**All my love and devotion to Dueling Fire Demon, sKyLaR KnIgHt, Just 2 Dream of You, heartluv, and of course lovely ReaperDemon for being so wonderful and kind as to review.  
**

**Readers are loved dearly, reviewers are worshiped and concrit is - as always - my very lifeblood :)  
**

**I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters, most unfortunately.  
**

**- Sin  
**

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**Translations:**

Shodo - Japanese Calligraphy, in this case the items used for it

Sumi - A chunk of black material that is rubbed into water to make in, made in the Suzuri (ink well).

Fude - The Brush used for writing in Shodo, there is usually a large one for writing and a smaller one usually used for the artist's signature.

Imiko - Cursed Child, the title given to Hiei after his birth by his mother's people.

Koishii - beloved/dear/darling

**Notes: **Oshichiya Meimeichiki ("Seventh Night" though I'm not completely certain on that translation) is the name of the baby naming ceremony in Japan. The ceremony happens (traditionally) seven days after the baby is born and is performed usually by the father who writes the baby's name in calligraphy on a Meimeisho (name certificate) along with the time and date of the baby's birth. I actually found a pretty awesome old film on line that shows a naming ceremony (and I do mean _old_, it's an old silent film which just make's my film geek go crazy with happiness haha) and would be happy to PM it to anyone curious to see. The full ceremony involves the mother and grandmother taking the baby to a local shrine to have the priest right the name down in the shrine register and to bless the baby and mother. From what I could find it is also common for the naming ceremony to be something like a baby shower as well, were friends and family present gifts and a big celebratory meal is eaten.

I didn't list the baby's name in my translation list for two reasons, the first (and most obvious being) I don't want to ruin the surprise :) The second of course is that the translation is actually given in the chapter and is, in fact, a part of the story.

* * *

So I'll smile  
I know I'll feel this loneliness no more  
All of my days

For I look around me  
And it seems you found me  
And it's coming into sight

- "All My Days" by Alexi Murdoch

* * *

The soft, unintelligible noises of her daughter and the deep timber of her Mate's voice rumbling at her side winding together in the lull of the early morning was a sound she was happy to wake to every morning for the rest of her life.

The sunlight was warm as it danced in lazy swirls against her exposed skin, despite the chill of the winter world outside the Shrine's protective walls, and it played gently against the silhouettes of the two she loved most in the world like a happy child in a summer's field. A languid, satisfied smile pulled at her lips as she watched her lover gently toy with the wispy black strands of their daughter's hair while their child babbled nonsense to him in the cradle of space between her parent's bodies. Her demonic blood gifted their daughter with more motor control than any other infant her age, but just barely. She was capable of shaking her tiny fists up at her parents, of kicking her little feet in excitement or annoyance, and even upon occasion squirming about the bed when it pleased her to do so. Impressive for a child a week old.

Exactly a week old.

Her stomach fluttered excitedly at the thought, at the meaning of the morning she had awoken to. Her mate's eyes gleamed down at her at the swirl of emotion stretching across their link from her to him, his gaze danced over her sleepy form with the air of someone happy with what they saw. The sunlight, as giddy as she felt she suspected by the way it seemed to dance to easily around the room, slipped into the prism of his gaze and fanned the glowing embers of his scarlet eyes into a roaring flame of too intense reds and soft yellows and heated oranges. The sense of being cradled herself in the open warmth of such an open look overwhelmed her and made her feel weightless and detached from the world. Her hair was loose and wild around her, spilling over the fabric of her pillow and onto the mattress carelessly and with quiet fascination she watched as he carefully detangled one hand from their daughter's fascinated hands to slide his fingers through her long blue tresses.

"Morning." His voice was the warm rumble of waves crashing onto the shore and infinitely more powerful, it rolled over her and sent her head reeling with a dizzy sort of contentment. Her lips pulled and stretched into a lazy smile, her hand slipping out from beneath the cool down of her pillow and catching his hand with hers, twisting and twining their fingers together into a familiar pattern. "It was my intention to let you sleep. It is going to be a long night; the Oaf has already come by with his sister to _help_." A frown pulled at his lips, causing her own to curl in amusement at her mate's usual response to the red headed psychic. She moved to trap his much larger, battle worn hand between her own smaller ones, fingers tracing the subtle lines and angles with a fascination that had not diminished since they had become Mated. His expression turned from sharp annoyance to quiet wonder, clawed eyes transfixed as he watched her careful movements. Her gentle touches and lingering attention had not been anything knew, but the ease and openness she had begun to show with such acts of affection had grown over the past weeks, seeming to surprise him with such small shows of her love. She had silently vowed to change that unfamiliarity to herself when she had first noticed it, he was the more possessive of the two of them – a lifetime of losing the things he held dear making his hold on what he had left tight and unyielding – but she had made just as much of a claim upon him as he had her. He would not be a stranger to affection so long as he was hers, of that she was certain.

"You need sleep too," She tugged his hand to her lips, pressing them against his warm calloused palm and smiling against his skin. With a small sigh she let his hand go and slowly lifted herself up onto her elbows, eyes dancing over his seated form warmly – taking particular care to the subtle smudges of darkness beneath his eyes. Neither of them had had a full night's sleep since their daughter's birth and she knew that there were circles beneath her own eyes as well, she hoped that their active child would be quick to finding a sleep schedule – she doubted either of them would be able to handle such impossible for much longer. "How long have you been up?" Her eyes danced to the window, dawn had come and gone but it was still early in the day. She was almost surprised that Kuwabara would have made the trek to the faraway Shrine so early, but then considered the fact that it would most likely would have been Shizuru who had dragged her younger brother out with her, rather than the boy actually managing to get out of bed on his own so early.

His shoulders raises in a small shrug and moved to brush some of her long, bed-frizzed hair from out of her face, fingers taking extra care as they curled down the apple of her cheek. "A while." She could hear the unspoken truth in his voice, that their child had awoken and – wanting to let her rest – had tended to their little bundle of screeching joy on his own. A flutter of warmth filled her chest, bringing her to sit up fully so she sat eye to eye with him. Between them their daughter kicked, a small gurgling growl annoyance with the lack of attention they were paying her. Her eyes were brought down to the little bundle resting between them, smile curling with amusement as she reached out to brush a gentle fingertip over the impossibly soft skin of their child's cheek. Their daughter turned wide, red eyes to her mother in the far unfocused way of the very young and snatched at the finger with tiny clawed hands excitedly. She was beautiful, their little daughter, the loveliest child she had ever seen – despite her propensity to wail and scream when she felt she was not the center of the room's attention. She had been overjoyed when her daughter's gaze had turned to the sharp beautiful red of her mate's. "Yukina made us breakfast."

She caught his dark head tilting towards the desk upon the far wall beside the shoji door, two plates resting their patiently beneath covers to keep the meal warm. Twin cups sat nearby, steaming slightly with tea. She wondered when he had gone to retrieve them, or if Yukina had slipped by and brought them herself. She nodded in response as her daughter tugged her captured finger to a tiny mouth and began sucking hungrily upon her knuckle. "It seems someone else is looking for breakfast as well." She retrieved her hand from her daughter's insistent hold and moved to tug the loose nursing shirt she had worn to bed down before carefully scooping her hungry child up. Her mate reached out to brush gentle fingers over the downy head of their daughter; his eyes sharp as he watched her carefully arrange their child in her arms. His hand moved to brush soothingly over her arm as she winced at her child's brutal attack, and she was thankful – not for the first time – that her daughter had yet to show signs of growing her father's sharp fangs.

He moved to sit by her, angling himself so that her back could rest against his chest as their hungry daughter had her fill. His arms moved to wrap around her, one curling supportively beneath where she held their daughter as he moved his other hand gently to rest atop their daughter's wispy dark hair, his head moved to settle upon her shoulder, his cheek brushing against her cheek. She relaxed in his hold, eyes dropping closed as her daughter eased up on her fevered assault and the warmth of her Mate seeped into her. A low, comforting growl rumbled through his chest and into her, absently she began humming in response to his wordless lullaby, some old song she could almost remember from a life she almost was able to forget from time to time. His head tilted, his mouth grazing over the curve of her cheek and down the slope of her chin with a lazy sort of enjoyment, hand moving to brush lazy circles over the skin of her arms. "It's been seven days." A swirl of giddy warmth slipped through her veins at his words and actions, the excitement she could feel thrumming through him slipped over through their shared marks and feeding her own eagerness. Her smile widened and her eyes danced at the thought before jumping down to their tiny daughter who squirmed lightly in response.

She turned her head to press her lips against his happily, the giddiness singing through her veins like a drug. His eyes were bright when she pulled away to look at him, his mouth pulling at the edges in a small smile that meant so much coming from him. "Have you told anyone yet?" She brushed her cheek against his, her daughter squirming in her arms and pressing tiny hands against the swell of her swollen breasts as she adjusted her tiny body. "What we've chosen for her?" She turned her head to look down at her daughter, the infant's eyes closed in concentration as one tiny hand fisted in strands of sky blue.

Hiei's voice rumbled through her as he spoke, his hand at her waist stroking absent circles as he followed her gaze down to their daughter. "No." Their daughter finished, yawning loudly as her large eyes blinked up at her parents, and gave a small tug at her mother's hair. Her mate's smile warmed even further as he reached down to brush a clawed finger over her tiny hand. "Kurama seemed particularly incensed, nosy fox." He untangled himself from her, allowing for her too clean herself and their daughter up from the morning's meal as he wandered over to the short desk where their food lay. With movements that were becoming more familiar as time wore on, she pulled her shirt back up and – snatching a small towel from the bedside table – settled her daughter upon her shoulder gently.

With a swirl of excitement, she saw him collect the items needed for Shoda and a scroll of fine parchment she knew Kurama had collected from Makai special for the very occasion they were preparing for. Patting her daughter's back gently she shifted on the bed, preparing to stand to join him on the place he was readying upon the floor. Her daughter made a soft noise of wonder, sensing the excitement in her parents once again, and squirmed in her mother's hold. Their daughter was an energetic creature, much more than what she had even expected when she had been pregnant, and her natural curiosity with the world around her was nearly on par with the red headed fox.

Shifting their daughter so that she was cradled in the crook of her arm she slowly shifted herself down beside her mate, watching his slow precise movements with a fascinated gaze. The precise control of his every motion had long been a source of amazement and awe for her, the way that every action he took seemed ethereal and effortless. When the team had still been together, officially bound to one another for the bidding of Reikai, she had taken pleasure in observing his training. There was something about the intensity he showed, the focus and dedication, that made her feel as if she was watching some ancient Kami at work. Seeing him in that moment, with his focus not on his sword or an enemy, but upon the naming of his child, made a flush of joy seep through her frame. Watching as he carefully rubbed the Sumi into the water, she settled her head upon his shoulder, her long blue locks of hair spilling over his shoulder. A content silence settled between them for a long moment, broken only by the soft murmurs of their daughter and the sound of the water being carefully mixed into ink.

"Did you ever think we would be here?" She hadn't realized she had spoken until his paused in his work, red eyes flicking to her in silent question. She brushed her thumb over the soft skin of her daughter's hand and considered her own question, eyes settled upon her Mate's strong hands as he returned to his task. "All those years ago…when this, when _we_, started…did you ever think it would turn out like this?" Her hand moved to brush the mark upon her neck, fingers tracing the scar with a deep sense of reverence for what it represented. "Us mated? With a daughter?" She watched as he set the Sumi to the side with a definitive air, head turning to look at her carefully. She offered him a smile, though she knew the curiosity was shining clearly in her eyes for him to see. She had never imaged it, not then. Not even until the morning, she they had become Mate's not a scarce two months previous, sometimes she still wondered – though her Mate was rather adept in chasing those rogue thoughts from her mind.

"Honestly? No." He reached out and gently pushed some of her messy strands of hair behind her ear. "We were strangers then, and…we were rather good and not getting along. Still are, I suppose." She felt the smirk in the words even as his lips moved to rest upon her forehead. "But I am glad that it turned out as it has. Not having you, _both_ of you…" The arm that had slunk around her pulled her close to his side, protective and possessive. He didn't finish his sentence, and didn't have to. After so long, after so many secrets shared and concealed in the hearts of the other, she knew what it was that he was not saying. She felt the very same way. "Sometimes I even forget that I am the Imiko, with you."

Her eyes burned and stung at the soft, painful cadence of his words. The reminder of the harsh life he had been born to, the pain of his childhood, the soul-deep knowledge of being rejected by those who were meant to protect and love him. She closed her eyes to the tears, fighting them for the moment though she desperately wanted to let them fall freely. Her Mate despised her tears, and this was meant to be a happy moment in their lives, for all three of them, she would not stain it so carelessly. She opened her eyes and met her Mate's gaze, offering a small, watery smile in response to his carefully guarded expression. "You are not an Imiko, koishii." Her words were strong and certain, always felt but never given the life of her breath before. She sat up, cradling her daughter with the utmost care against her chest as she lifted a hand to rest against the smooth plane of his cheek. The fire of his gaze was tempered by old wounds, injures driven into his very soul years before she had ever known him, with anxiety for the fate of their own complicated child. He had never spoken his worry on the matter, but she had always known, always felt it in her heart and in the strong tether of their linked souls. The concern that he would, unintentionally, pass on the title of the Forbidden Child to their fledgling daughter and sentence her to the same lonesome, painful existence he had been born to. Their union, like his contrasting parents before them, had been ushered into light despite the forcible ways of their differing worlds. Their daughter was an anomaly. Not human, not demon, not spirit, but – impossibly – all things at once. She could not lie and say that their child would never face hardship because of the choices of her parents, but she drew strength from knowing their daughter would never have to face the Three Realms alone. She was loved, and protected and always, _always_ would be. "And neither is she. She had us, koishii, she will be loved. She _is_ loved." She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his, an affirmation for the both of them. When they finally broke for air she rested her forehead gently against his, sighing, breath mingling with his as their daughter shifted in wonder between them. "And so are you."

He lifted his hand to hers, thumb dragging over her knuckles as he squeezed her hand and pulled it away from his cheek. The shadows of his eyes, at least for the moment, had been driven back and allowed for the flames to roar on in their full brilliance. He leaned back, kissing her palm lightly, before bowing low over their unusually quiet daughter and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. The infant made a small, joyful babbling sound and reached out with tiny hands to slap happily against her father's face. He rose, an honest, open smile upon his face, and turned his attention to the parchment and ink waiting for him.

A small, warm smile touching her lips she watched as he slowly dipped the fine haired Fude into the fresh made ink, careful to remove the excess before turning to the awaiting paper. With the same precise strokes he used when practicing his sword, he methodically brought the brush down upon the large unraveled scroll and began writing. She watched, entranced, as her Mate – she would happily say lovingly, for she knew him well enough to see it – carved their daughter's name down upon the paper. In her arms, as if knowing what was taking place, her daughter squirmed in excitement, eyes large and bright and beautifully red as she stared out unfocused at the world around her. She smiled down at her child, mouth curling around the syllables of the name their daughter was being given with an ease that was almost surprising, her voice steady and certain as the name left her lips and filled the room.

"Emiko."

_Blessed child._


End file.
